


The Love of The Netherlands

by AnaJo_Skylark



Series: Capital Series: Side Stories [8]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: CapitalSeries, Depression, Epilepsy, F/M, Recreational Drug Use, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-03-28 23:40:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 44,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13914642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaJo_Skylark/pseuds/AnaJo_Skylark
Summary: Zytka Stawski relies on her belief to pull her out of the world she considers Hell, one of a spiraling fear and pain before complete emptiness, everything ever given to her either makes her numb or worse than before. The only solace she has is the dreams she has, the ones that catch her when she falls. But after moving to The Netherlands for further help, she finds herself falling in the path of the one man that catches her in those dreams.





	1. Chapter 1

_The long halls called out to her, the fact she was there screamed everything she ever needed. It was a step so far in the direction for women like herself that she couldn't wipe the smile off her face, let alone sit for the actual lectures. But at the end she saw him, standing there as the small pipe billowed small puffs outward as he waited for her. Of course, he kept his promise. To walk with her and make sure she wouldn't be assaulted or more. She knew he meant well, knew that some of the men were not very happy that she was there in the first place but he would keep them at bay of her._

_"Took you long enough." he said as she came to his side._

_"Did you think I wouldn't show?"_

_"No, more worried of the fact that someone would try and stop you." he replied as he moved around her, "You are making history for the world."_

 

_The sounds of cars driving by as higher-ups gave commands within gave her the knowing that she had swindled them once more. Drawing the Nazi's out once more and gathering all she could for the hiding Jews. It was all she could do. Well, that and find him again. She knew he was in this building, saw the white-haired soldier drag him in here earlier right before...no she didn't want to think of what had happened within._

_Quickly moving, she darted into the building out of the careful eye of the soldiers. Traveling only a few feet in, she could hear him, pained moans coming from a room. Working the door open, she saw him on the floor, blood spattering the floor as he laid there in it._

_"Jesus, they did you well."_

_Green hazel eyes glared painfully up at her, "What the hell are you doing here?"_

_"Saving you." she said, trying to lift him up._

_"No leave me, if I go the nation falls." he winced, "Besides, you're already at large."_

_"Oh please, they're looking for someone with bright red hair, I don't have that."_

_She felt his fingers tangle in her hair as a weak laugh left him, "Only you."_

 

 

The soft hymn of the choir broke the images from her mind as the Recessional Chant came to its end. Zytka shook her head as she followed the others around her, doing what she could to stay focused. She was mad at herself. How could she have fallen in that strange dream again, it was a curse really. Sinful. Evil. She heard the end as everyone went to kneel, giving a silent prayer to God, giving thanks to what was before them and his ways. Yet her's were always the same.

Why? Why would he do this to her? Why would he damn her to a hell that made people question her mind? Was she not devoted enough? Was she not faithful enough to him and his beliefs? What did she do wrong? Yet every time she prayed, she was answered with silence.

It was nightmarish, everything that was before her. All it did was send her on a wonder of right and wrong and wonder if she was meant to be good or bad. Before long, people left the church, her own family bidding her farewell as they knew she would stay behind to confess. She thought of every Saint that could cross her mind, especially Saint Dymphna. It was all she really could do. Once the large place was clear of the majority, she made her way to the confessional, hoping that Father Dominik could help her get where she needed.

Within the small box, she waited as her mind ate at her. Her worries and fears growing more and more on her as the nightmarish hell continued its raid on her. Maybe he couldn't help her and she was forever doomed in his-

"Welcome child."

Zytka crossed herself as she sighed, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been a week since my last confession."

"And your sins my child?"

She felt her breath quiver, "I do not know. I have followed his word with all of my heart yet I still am unhealthy and plagued by dreams. I have confessed and prayed, cleaned my soul and more yet I do not have his heart it seems."

"Now child, I know it's you. God has not given up on you, he is giving you a path that he knows you can walk along. No task before you is a sin and you have not. I have watched you teach the children of God's work and ways, and he is grateful of you." he told her.

That was not the answer she had hoped for, not by a long shot, but it was his words and she had to accept them, "Then Father, what should I do?"

She was met with silence. Odd, Father Dominik always told her to pray and make sure to thank the Saints that would watch over her most. But the opening of the door with his heavy footsteps to her side was all she was getting, just for her own door to open.

"Zytka, I think you and I should have a walk in town." he said, holding his hand out to her.

She was shocked. That wasn't something he would do, yet she didn't argue with the man. She followed him out of the church as they made their way down the winding streets. He never said a word yet held his head high with a small smile crossing his lips and Zytka was becoming nervous of this, this was just way too out there, even for her. But as the day grew high with time, she let herself become emersed in the nature that was around her. She heard the birds singing as people chattered around her, a typical day for everyone as the sun gave a gentle warmth to her skin. She wanted to bask in it, to enjoy what was in front of her but she knew it wouldn't last that long.

"Here we are." he said opening a door.

Zytka looked up, seeing the large sign above the door, "Apteka?"

"Tak. Daj spokój." he said as he waited for her.

She had enough of pharmacies really, doctors even. They didn't really help her issue, just made it less frequent, but the dreams were there all the time no matter what she did. Following him inside, she wondered what he was up to as he went to the pharmacy counter, speaking quickly before she could catch anything. The young man nodded to him as he left them for another room.

"Just wait and trust me." Father Dominik said to her.

"I do trust you, just don't know what to think of this."

Suddenly the door flew open again, a young Asian woman came flying out of the enclosed spot, darting right for them. Her eyes full of excitement as she nodded to Father Dominik, "Are you serious?"

"Very." he told her as he pointed to her, "This is the young woman I spoke of."

Wait, he had spoken about her to a stranger, more than once, "Father Dominik, does this not count as breaking the Seal of Confession?"

"A devoted Catholic I see too." the woman said, "Fear not Zytka, you are not alone. I had asked many priests in the nation to help my husband and I out for young women and men like yourself."

"What do you mean?"

She smiled at her, "Father Dominik, I thank you again, the nation of Poland itself does. Feliks will speak later on with you and as for you, Zytka, I'm Riko Łukasiewicz and I was just like you at one point."

Zytka just stared at her, unsure of what to think or do, "How?"

"Answer me one simple question, do you dream of women? Showing power or strength that you cannot explain?"

She felt herself stagger, how was that possible? She was insane, clear as day and God was punishing her, she knew it, but how would this woman know such things?

"I too dreamed of women. I later figured them out to be Marie Curie, Helene Deutsch, and Ernestine Rose. I dreamed of those women until I came to Poland from Japan and found answers that made no sense yet did at the same time." she explained, "And you, my girl, are the next one to be found like me."

This had to be a joke. Someone was doing this for the hell of it and it was getting under her skin. She wanted to protest them both, to tell them that they were crazy yet she couldn't move. She tried, tried so hard yet found herself stiff. Her eyes found Father Dominik as his widened with knowing fear. Dear God, she triggered it now. Her teeth clamped shut so tightly that she heard them creak under the pressure, her neck grew tense as the muscles within spasmed and her legs had the pins and needles effect yet felt as if someone was taking them out from under her. She caught their faces before it all went away, the same fear that everyone gave her when this happened. 

Finally, she began to fall, feeling her body convulse as their voices became distant and her vision darkened, and this time, she welcomed it all. 


	2. Chapter 2

To say he was proud of his garden was a lie. He was infatuated with it. Never had he gotten his blooms to be this good, standing strong and bright and colorful as well. He walked the rows he made, inspecting each spot that was there for anything that stuck out, yet as usual, there was nothing out of place. Well, until the other nations came that was.

It never changed. Every time he held a meeting there, those bastards would cause an uproar and his building would get damaged and broken with something or his gardens trashed in some way. But with the nations gaining capitals and having cities, things were a little calmer. He'd just have to watch out for the Danish one, he was still wild. 

"What are you up to?" he heard someone from behind.

Turning around, he was met with Belle as she beamed brightly at him, Javier only a few feet behind as he too gazed over his work.

"Hallo Belle, Javier."

"You still not fond of me?" he heard the new capital ask.

"I was fine with you until you left that stain on my couch."

The man chuckled lightly as Belle seemed to hide her face from them, "Sorry about that. I'll, uh, head in before, um, well more gets out of...hand."

He watched as the once Spanish man walked into the council building, leaving him and Belle alone outside. He heard her careful footsteps approach him as if she was afraid he'd snap at her.

"You know I'd never yell at either you or Claude, please don't act like I will."

"I know, but I also know how mad you were when you saw that."

"It was the fact that you both tried to hide it and not tell me about it. I would have been angry if it was just oatmeal or yogurt of that effect but it was...nevermind. I'm not saying it."

Belle giggled at him, "Still thinking of money and how to get it aren't you?"

"I have it. Its just business that I deal with now Belle. Why are you both here so early anyway?"

"Just wanted to be, I know Francis and Brie aren't far with the children so you'll have two little ones in the gardens."

"I've seen Brie and how she handles Francis, I don't worry about her little ones." he replied, looking her over as she seemed to be nervous, "You're hiding something."

She smiled at him, "No, not really. When was the last time you saw us?"

"December, right after you both stained my couch all because you couldn't wait an extra minute to make it to the bedroom."

She nodded at him, "And it is now?"

"What are you getting at?"

"What month is it?"

"The beginning of May, you have to ask, look at the blooms. Everything is coming in and..." 

He paused in his statement, mentally calculating the months in between just for him to look at her once more. He took her in, her glowing skin with rosy cheeks, the smile only a mother would hold, her arms behind her back as she rocked back and forth on her heels. Only then did it come to him.

"Ben je zwanger?" he asked.

Her little giggle hit him as she tightened the shirt to her body, showing the forming bump on her, "Seems like that couch holds a memory."

"And Javier's death sentence." he joked with her as he pulled her close, "Gefeliciteerd kleine zus."

"Dank je." she hugged him, "Still want to kill him?"

"Ja." he said as he made his way in.

"Oh come on Tim, it isn't that bad." Belle said behind him.

"Of course it is, there's another of him running around."

"Another of who?" someone asked.

Low and behold, there was Claude holding Jeanne in his arms as the little French girl awed over the flowers, just as Javier went behind the man.

"Luxemburg, help Brussels here." the man cowered behind him.

"You knock her up?" the usual quiet nation asked, just to receive a nod, "About time."

"You're siding with them?" Tim asked.

"Oh come on, you knew it would happen sooner or later. One day you'll be there with a tot or two."

Now that set his spine straight. A wife and children, the very thought sent a chill through his body, "No."

"Oh don't be that way, Tim. You never know."

He looked at his younger siblings, seeing how they were so determined of that path for him, "Do you both not know me?"

"Just because you have things that other nations don't, doesn't mean-"

"That it won't happen, yea, yea, I've heard it before. That's not how it goes though. I enjoy the world I have, both of business and pleasure. And taking in a capital would kill all of that. There are more important things out there than focusing on one."

"You mean besides all the legs you can get between in the red light district?" Claude shot.

"Claude!" Javier and Belle yelled.

"What it's true." Claude noted at him, "You keep up your antics like that and not only will you poison your body with the shit that runs there but your dick will fall off too."

Javier covered the little girl's ears, "Language Claude, children don't need to hear that."

"Miss Belle?" Jeanne asked as Claude let her down.

"Yes, Jeanne Marie?"

"What's a dick?"

Belle let out a startled gasp as Javier groaned in frustration just as Tim shook his head, "Now look what you did Claude."

The man smiled at him, "Jeanne, you want to know what it is, it's the Netherlands." 

Belle and Javier were off on Claude as he stood there shocked that his younger brother said that to him. He knew he wasn't perfect but it kinda hurt hearing that.

"Monsieur Van Hofwegen?" he felt his coat being tugged on.

He looked down to see Jeanne look up at him, those bright blue eyes just like her fathers, "I do not think you are a bad man."

Tim smiled at her. With achy knees, he got eye level with her, seeing the honesty that she held within, "Thank you. You are very sweet."

She gave him a wide smile, a small thought came to his mind, "What's your favorite color?"

"Ooh, I love all colors but purple is my favorite."

He looked over the garden of tulips, looking over each petal and stem before one caught his eye just to reach over and pluck the delicate flower. Stroking Jeanne's dark tresses, he placed the little purple tulip behind her ear, watching as the smile on her grew wider.

"There, a pretty flower for a pretty girl." he said to her.

"Merci Monsieur Van Hofwegen." and then she was gone, off to find her mother and father.

He watched as she left, hearing his siblings and in-law still arguing with one another, yet it gave him the push to head in and deal with the stupid meeting at hand. His legs wobbled lightly, feeling the effect of WWII and the hell he endured those years ago. Pulling out his pipe, he shrugged at the argument behind him as he made his way within the building, ready to deal with whatever chaos was coming his way.

 

"As of now, each border is set, correct?" he heard Roderich ask everyone.

A barrage of here's and foreign agreements came to the room as he too raised his hand in reply. This had gotten old, talking about Genesis and the hell they were making for all of them. It was just chaotic, and they were having all the fun. Well, at least not in his country. It took him finding once spy within his lines and he smeared him all over the wall once he got what he wanted out of him, he truly wasn't taking any chances.

"Now that is out of the way, there is news from Feliks." Toris announced as the sassy Pol stood up.

"Right, as of now my wife has been speaking with another in our land, one that is like the others." he smiled, "We have found another capital."

Questions arose quickly as nations demanded to know whom it was for. He too tried to listen yet it was too hard to even follow as the more determined nations yelled over one another.

"Silence!" he finally shouted, "Let the man talk."

"Thank you, Tim." Feliks nodded to him, "Anyway as I was trying to say, we are unsure where she belongs, only that she dreams of two women and one of them being alive in the WWII years. So with that, we are trying to pinpoint which nation she is for, and that itself is like hard to do."

The boisterous chatter quieted down as others spoke here and there, stating that movements of capitals were becoming more profound.

"So far what we have found is that nations are finding capitals faster than our first four." Leon stated, "The number itself has risen to sixty percent over the last year since the finding of Tallinn, with that, we should be seeing a new capital at most every two months if not more. I believe that we will have every capital in the world in less than two years."

More chatter arose yet he barely heard it. He was doing the math in his head of what the young man stated, and if it was correct, then Amsterdam was out there right now, in search of him. The thought itself just sent a wave of unease to his gut, making him want to leave the room as fast as he could. No more than twenty minutes later and at least three fights, he was let loose. 

He practically ran out of there, heading to one place that would help his mind and the growing hunger that he had. True, Claude wasn't too wrong with him in some aspects. The marijuana use was for the pain in his legs, this, on the other hand, was just a man's needs. The familiar light caught his eye as the end of his pipe slowly emptied of his mix, just in time really as Den Wallen came into full view.

"You really are going to soak your troubles away in the district, aren't you?"

Whipping around, he saw Belle standing there, glaring daggers at him, "Belle I told you, there isn't-"

"Bullshit! You heard the statistics. Look at me, I found Javier in little to nothing. That means Amsterdam is out there looking for you, so you best stop putting your dick in places it doesn't belong and be the man I know you are."

The hell did this come from? Must be the hormones.

"And I know what you're thinking and no, it's not my pregnancy making me talk. This is the truth that I have kept quiet from you for a long time. I let it go for it made you happy. Ok, your terms of happy. But now it's gotta stop Tim. No more."

She was serious, downright serious. In all his years having her and Claude look up to him and be around each other, and there she was chewing him out due to him being himself.

"Are you telling me that I can't do what I want to do?" he asked, "Since when have you become the mother to me?"

"Oh please, I knew you used the brothels before but when I gained Javier it just got worse with you. You are drowning yourself in cheap pussy all because you don't want to have the truth stand before you."

"You do not own me or have control what I do so stay out of it Belle." he turned away from her, continuing his way.

"I hope when Amsterdam gets here, that she puts you in your place and that you finally pull your head from your ass!"

He ignored her, it wasn't something that he normally would have done but it was better than continuing to argue with her, he knew when to stop on that accord. Her words rang in his head, loud and clear of Amsterdam.

"No one is changing me or the way I do things." he muttered to himself as the windows gave him a show. 

Tim moved to the one building he came to most, seeing the women within as his usual smiled at him, leaving her spot as the guard let him in. The heavy stench of sex, drugs, and alcohol lingered in the air, making him slowly drown in his own mind.

"Back again I see." she gave him a sultry smile, "Must like what I gave."

He pulled out the wad of cash, "You know what to do."

Tim knew that she would do as told, she would really work for the money as well, no doubt about it. Yet as it started, he felt hollow. As if something was missing from him. Closing his eyes, he tried to see her, envision what she would look like or be. In truth, all he really did want to think of was of Amsterdam.


	3. Chapter 3

"It is for the best for you Zytka, you must understand this." she mimicked her parents as she walked the foreign street, "It will help all of us."

Zytka walked down Damrak, passing shops and avoid people as they spoke to one another. Some of their gazes landing on her as she tried to escape the area, to get away from the new life she had to endure.

"Didn't think they'd actually leave me here." she muttered to herself.

After Father Dominick spoke with her about her dreams and had introduced her to Riko, her family also put the pressure on her for her own health and thinking that maybe it was a good idea to live with her cousin in The Netherlands. Not that she didn't like her cousin, she was just, well a little...wild.

"Zytka!" the loud woman came from behind her, wrapping her arms around her, "Come on, there are multiple cafes here we can eat at or stores to shop. Come on, don't be a stick in the mud. Have some fun."

"I told you before Monika, I'm just fine walking."

"You're boring." Monika whined in her ear, "Live a little, you're in Amsterdam, not Sopot."

"It's more than that." 

"What, still upset that mama and tata left you here for you were a financial burden to your siblings and them?"

Zytka whipped around, glaring at the woman as her words run deep. In truth, that was the last thing she wanted to be reminded of.

"Ok, sorry. It's true though." Monika said, "Plus here, meds are cheaper and easier to get."

And she dove in that direction. She understood that some nations had better things than others, or that difficult times were around them due to the war surrounding them. But listening to Monika go about the drugs of the nation and what she could get her hands on for her and any other thing she could think of. Oh, how she hated that smell. She accepted her cousin and her use of the product but she was constantly in that state which left the home in the same smell. All it did was trigger her at times and just give her blinding headaches. It was pretty much one of the only times she was glad to dream of the women.

"Just because you get high, doesn't mean I will."

"Come on Zyt, it's just one hit. Watched what it does for you, probably be better than the hoard of pills you take."

"Monika, enough!" Zytka stomped her foot down, "No more!"

Monika paused holding her hands up, "Fine. Fine, you win."

Zytka watched as her cousin backed away from her, annoyance written on her face, "You win Zytka. I'll leave you alone. But right now, I want to relax a little and you are killing that need."

She watched as Monika left her in the middle of Damrak, leaving her alone in the middle of the busy place. A slow panic began to well in her, the thought of being alone when an episode happened scared her, but now it was even more for she wasn't even in Poland. She had no friends or family to help her, no church to escape to, nothing but a vast land she knew practically little of.

"Wait, Monika, wait." she tried to call out to her cousin as she disappeared with the people, "Don't leave me alone. Please."

Silence came to her plea as people walked around her, giving strange looks as she felt smaller than before. Everything around her felt huge and threatening, she was becoming too aware of things, picking up every little thing and if she kept it up it would happen again. The loud whinny of the animal caught her, sending absolute fear down her spine.

She looked around, wondering if it was her imagination that caused the sound but turning around, she saw the large creatures coming over in her direction as the men upon them spoke lightly to each other. Panic settled in her as they grew closer. She could the hideous scream of the creature within her head as its massive body kicked at her again. She had to get away, just had to.

Zytka took off, running as fast as she could away from the beasts, hoping to not only escape them but the knowledge of what could happen to her. She wasn't sure where she would end up, but it didn't matter, she just needed away. Her parent's words echoed in her head how she would live with Monika, her brothers pointing out the fact her family couldn't have much was due to her issues, her sisters stating it would be easier without her there. Her nightmares plagued her as the day rattled within her head once more. She felt the tears prick her eyes as the clouds above gave way. Only then did she pause, leaning against the bridge's rails, looking at the water below. Why did she have to suffer in this world like so? 

She couldn't stop herself, no matter how hard she tried. Her tears mixed with the rain as it soaked her to the bone, people scattering for buildings yet she stood there, letting her emotions run as it poured. Hell. That's all her mind could come up with. It was hell and no matter what she did, she couldn't escape it. The water below almost looked inviting, beckoning almost to just have her stop the pain she was in, but she knew better. She knew God would be displeased with her, that she would be damned for all eternity. It was pointless as she closed her eyes, letting the tears continue.

"You know it's raining right?" she heard a voice beside her.

Zytka opened her eyes, realizing the rain no longer landed on her. Turning to the voice, she found a tall man looming over her, holding his jacket above them both. His strange green hazel eyes looked down at her lazily but something within them told her to follow him. She gave him a small nod as she tried to collect herself.

"Come on, let's get you inside somewhere." he gestured with his head to follow.

She nearly pressed herself into his side, the heavy scent of tulips coming off him as another lifted to her, one she wasn't sure of what it was. A small cafe came to sight as he lead her towards it, the sweet scent of bread and pastries coming to her in waves made her stomach rumble with need. Once within, he removed his jacket, exposing his light brown hair that seemed to stand on its own. There was something familiar about him, yet she couldn't put her finger on it.

"You can sit down." he pointed to a table by the window.

Zytka wasn't sure what to think of him or why he was doing it, but she did as told. Let it be known that she wouldn't argue with a man in any sort of way. She waited as he disappeared for a moment, watching the rain spatter against the window in a strange show of emotions. It was fitting really, she felt as the droplets did when they hit the window. It was like her being dropped in the nation and being left to pretty much fend for herself.

"Don't have to look so depressed." his voice caught her off guard as a clink came to the table before her.

Looking at the source, she saw the cups and plate laying before her. One of coffee as she looked at its dark contents while the other had a creamy chocolate feel to it and the sweet smelling bread-like treat laid ready to be eaten.

"Not going to bite you, just thought you needed out of the rain." he said sipping his cup.

Zytka was more puzzled by him than anything, he didn't ask her name, what was wrong or anything for that matter. Looking around quickly, she noticed the familiar design of the Rum Baba as Monika would drag her here for her early snack as the woman would say. Pulling her wallet out, she dug out the money in question of the items before her, knowing the prices were just what she had at that moment.

"Put it away."

"For what?" she finally got out.

"Oh, you do speak." he seemed to snicker, "And it's fine. Not that much, as I said, I didn't want to see you out there in the rain. Seemed like you had enough on your mind, to begin with."

"You haven't a clue." she huffed looking back down at the table.

"Then relax in here as the storm passes."

She watched him as he seemed to just let everything slip by, not caring about anything that was before him. Focus on his coffee and the storm outside. He was strange that's for sure. It was then she noticed the scar on his brow, wondering how it got there just for a flash to cover the sky.

"Afraid?"

"Nie."

"Not from here are you?"

"You now see that."

"A woman standing in the rain as she looked over the bridge gave it away first."

What sort of man was he, "And yet you let me in with you."

"My sister would kick my ass if I didn't help you."

Ah, now it came clear, "Besides, what's a Polish woman doing here in the Netherlands? Don't seem much of a tourist."

"I wasn't given a choice."

"Oh, business then."

"More like family and the funds of money for a sick woman."

Silence fell upon the table as he set his cup down, clearing his throat lightly as he pulled something out, "Sorry about that."

"It's fine I just-" she paused as she saw him light something quick in the strange looking pipe, the familiar scent of earlier hitting her.

"What's wrong now?"

"Is that, what I think it is?"

He looked down at the pipe just for his greens to land on her, "And if it is?"

"I would rather not have it around me."

"Don't care for smoking?"

"It's not the fact that it's smoking, its what is being smoked. It is wrong."

His eyes widened at her, awed by her words, "You do realize where you are, yes?"

"I do."

"Then you had best get used to this world." he gave a nod to her as he left the seat.

Zytka turned to see him leave the cafe, trudging back into the rain as she sat there dumbfounded, "Strange man."

Her pocket buzzed wildly, her phone going mad as she saw her cousin's number appear, "What Monika?"

"Done whining?" she heard the woman say.

"And if I'm not?"

"Too bad, guess the time."

Looking at the time, she scolded herself for being so reckless, "Fine. Meet me at Rum and we can head home."

She closed the device, never happier to end her cousins nagging of use and more. All she really wanted was to just escape this nation and to be normal like everyone else. And with it, know who he was too.

 

Let it be known that he could be a decent person here and there, but hearing her speak her mind was just dragging. She didn't seem to let loose or have fun of any sort, so why did she intrigue him? 

Tim tried to shake her from his head, her long dark chocolate hair stretching down her back as soft milk chocolate eyes glanced up at him just for her creamy white skin beckoned to be touched. She was like a delicate dessert, sitting in the window for everyone to see and yet most ignored her but damn, she sent his mind rolling. And her voice, god her voice. It was as if angels themselves touched her throat and gave her their own. She was distracting yet awing and he wanted to know why.

He wanted to know why she stood out there crying in the rain, why she seemed so frightened of him and then suddenly so boisterous in her thoughts. She was a mystery and yet he was stupid enough not to even learn her name. Dumbass.

"You look a little lost out here." he heard someone call out to him.

Whipping around, he saw Feliks usual grin plastered on his face, "What do you want?"

"What do you mean what do I want, I should be asking you more questions but first of all, finally." the man gave an exasperated sigh.

"What do you mean?"

"You should know." he continued grinning as he walked over to him, holding his umbrella over both of them, "Making that move finally. Hey, it like gets you out of the brothels."

Now things weren't adding up. He tried to understand what he was angling at but it didn't register, nothing did as the Polish man's face changed slightly.

"You really have no idea what I like, mean, do you?"

"When does anyone besides your wife and very few others know what you mean?"

"But, you were just..." he faded off as he pointed back at the cafe.

"What about it, Feliks?"

He quickly faced him, "Have you talked to Riko?"

Ok, that was unexpected, "No, why?"

"Now it makes sense."

"What does Feliks?"

He smiled once more, "What did you tell Belle and the other's that day of the meeting in your building? That you won't have a capital and as Claude said, it's easier for you to sink yourself in cheap pussy and drugs?"

"Just because they say that doesn't mean-"

"You use those brothels more than the Germans use their pleasure rooms, and that's a fact, my friend."

"Quit fucking with me and just tell me what you are-"

"What do you think of Amsterdam?"

Now he was pissed, "Seriously, you stop me in a storm, jump all over my ass with stupid questions with yet still haven't answered just to ask me about my capital? Are you fucking joking me Feliks?"

The man just smiled at him, small chuckles leaving him as he pulled something out, "I am."

"You know, you're a goddamn pain in the ass and if it wasn't for this storm I'd just let you-" he stopped as Feliks held up his phone.

There, upon the screen, was Riko talking to none other than the woman he had brought in from the rain. Her face seemed puzzled as Riko seemed to just speak so freely to her. A point that she and Feliks were a match made right. 

"What's this?"

"Do you remember what I said at the last meeting, that my wife was speaking with someone of dreams?"

No. He couldn't mean..."What are you telling me?"

Feliks smiled at him, "Oh Netherlands, it seems your times of rough partying and play are up. Amsterdam is in your midst, and you just spoke with her too."

Tim felt himself falter slightly as his knees ached a little. He was speaking with Amsterdam just a moment ago. Belle was right, his capital was here and now he had to worry about that. Why, why now? His mind whirled for a moment, wondering what could be changed or made different so nothing of his own life would change drastically but the knowledge of the woman just set a strange block in his mind, Belle's and Claude's words echoing his head. 

Finally, he looked at Feliks, "Is this all real?"

"As real as can be." he replied, "Fair warning, she's a timid little thing."

Little wasn't even fitting for her either but she wouldn't leave his mind, "Her name?"

"Oh now tell me you didn't have the decency to get that tiny bit now?"

Tim shot him a glare, making Feliks shake his head at him, "Ok, fine. I won't mess around anymore."

He looked back over to the little place, seeing her leave with another woman, one that seemed to be nagging at her over something as she tried to ignore her.

"It's Zytka. Polish for Rose flower. And in her case, she is as delicate as a flower."

"Zytka." he breathed out.

Tim felt his mind just sink around her and what he knew so far, and by damn he was going to have to learn it all before he tried anything else around her.


	4. Chapter 4

She knew she should have been paying attention, but the sight itself kept her at bay. It was beautiful. Never did she think that the capital would have such an amazing church within its grasp, well, it didn't help that the nation gave itself such a reputation either. 

Zytka found herself within the cool building, people coming and praying lightly as they tried to lighten their minds while others spoke freely with one another, letting the comfort of God's grace ease them in their days. She felt comfortable within, wanting to just let it go with her, but the tap on her shoulder for the fifth time was her answer to that thought.

"Zytka." she heard Riko practically moan, "You are to like, pay attention."

"Sorry, it just so beautiful I got distracted."

Riko giggled at her, "You are a funny one at that. But in seriousness, you need to listen to me."

Zytka sighed, she had a feeling the woman would be around more often, just not this much. After moving to the Netherlands and dealing with her cousin, she had felt herself become more distant in the world yet somehow sunk into the nation itself, almost like a strange pull that told her to stay within the nation no matter what. That and he kept crossing her mind.

"Remember when I spoke to you with Father Dominik over the people that exist in the world?"

"You called them Capitals."

"Oh good, you do remember."

"I may have issues, but my memories are not a part of them."

She watched as Riko gave a small nod, sinking back as she cleared her throat, "Sorry. I just know that sometimes some forget things."

"Different version."

"Yes, anyway. Right now it's important to listen to me." she said, "As of now, you know of the terrorist group, Genesis, right?"

"Yes, everyone knows of them."

"Well, right now, they have a strange wander toward capitals or even people that dream of historical preference. We aren't sure why but if someone is drawn in them or has a report of them dreaming, then Genesis is determined to gain them and have them for their own."

"So because my parents had me tested those years ago for the dreams and my head, then Genesis will look at me?"

"Correct."

"I knew that I was corrupt in his eyes." she muttered under her breath.

"Oh Zytka, that is not how God views you." Riko scolded, "If God was angry with you, you would know it. Right now he is guiding you to where you belong and you are at the start of it. You are devoted to his word and leave his presence wherever you go. And that is enough to make him happy."

"You can't-"

"Can't know that? Sure I can." Riko smiled, "When I dreamed I thought I was insane and didn't even believe in God or anything of that sort. But when I finally buckled on my dreams and moved to Poland, I learned so much about myself and what was within me that I just felt right. Like you told me before, the pull that the Netherlands has on you, I felt the same. So deep that you swear God placed it in you. That is his notion of it. After finding what I did I also found Feliks and more of the dreams and of course God. And now look at me, a little pharmacist from Japan, married to a wonderful Polish man, and a happy Catholic woman."

Zytka looked over at her again, she remembered in Poland as she spoke with her, how she was someone that dreamed and then came to the nation just to see the truth before her eyes and realize she was what was called a capital. Capital. A term that seemed so unreal besides the actual meaning. She had told her that she was to be a capital in Sopot but all Zytka could do was laugh, it was just not possible.

"Still think that it's a joke?" Riko cut her thoughts.

"No offense, but how is something like that even real. It makes no sense in any way no matter how you look at it." Zytka noted, "Human beings being nations and capitals, it's just not so."

"Yet you are speaking with one and dream of another."

She hated when the woman did that. There was a part of her when Riko began these talks that she was just completely insane, but the more she brought up past and what she saw and had her focus on her own, it gave a small nudge of belief. 

"And you say that to me each time."

"For it is true." Riko said, "I'm not joking about this, I am Warsaw as you will be-"

"Amsterdam. Yes, I know." Zytka cut her off, "And you are married to Poland while the Netherlands looks for me. But it really is insane if you look at it."

"You are diving into this much deeper than you need to. Just trust your intuition, you'll be fine."

"Last time I trusted my own belief I ended up in a coma for weeks."

"You were a child, no? A simple mistake of innocence, not of life moments."

"It's lasting me a lifetime."

Riko let out a frustrated sigh, "You are almost as bullheaded as him. No wonder he has you as a capital."

"Would you stop that, and nobody has me."

"Oh Zytka, you must listen to me. What I speak of is the truth, and sooner or later, things will not be the same. Genesis is out there looking for people like us, those that dream of past and since you are documented, you are a target. Right now it's my husband making sure nothing happens to you but soon it'll be Tim. And you will have to deal with that."

Zytka looked back to the interior of Sint-Nicolaasbasiliek, wondering if God was playing a cruel joke on her.

"Fine, I'll let you be to pray and get your thoughts together, but this is serious. You really need to understand this."

Before she could say anything to the woman, Riko had left her within the church, her mind abuzz with all that she had said. Zytka leaned back in the pew, looking over at all the place had and all the people coming in and out. She worried that she was being led on, that there really wasn't capitals or nations out there as real people, but the more she had the woman speak with her, the more her mind felt like falling into itself.

Saying one last Hail Mary and a prayer of her own, she left the church as the day seemed to begin around her. She knew Riko wasn't too far from her, had seen her with her husband beforehand speaking with others before she ran to her. All Zytka really wanted was just a normal life, but it seemed that wasn't possible. 

Walking around the church, she tried to drown out all that fogged her mind but the more she tried to block it, the stronger it got. How on earth did she get to this notion? She kept her head clear and didn't spoil anything that was pure, so why this? 

Her foot faltered as she felt something below it, trying to avoid falling yet not hurting whatever was below her as well. Finally gathering her footing, she glanced down just to see a brown and white bunny looking up at her. It's floppy ears just begging to be pet as a sweet little heart laid upon it's back.

"O mój Boże!" she almost shouted, leaning down to the little creature, "You are adorable."

She gently picked up the bunny, watching its nose twitch at her as she pet it's soft fur, "What are you doing out here in this busy world, you'll get hurt."

Its doe eyes looked at her, almost in question as she spoke to it. Looking around, Zytka tried to see if someone was around to claim the little thing yet no one seemed to notice it. Finding a chair, she perched herself within it and continued her petting, well, as it almost demanded it from her, nudging her hand for more when she paused.

"Needy little thing aren't you." she smiled at it, "Wonder what your name is."

"Lop."

Zytka jumped lightly as the voice replied to her, looking around, she saw a woman smiling brightly at her, walking over towards the two of them.

"I'm sorry, is it yours? I almost tripped over it as I was walking, didn't want to leave it alone out here."

She laughed at her, "You're funny. Lop pretty much owns these street with my brother. As lazy as this little guy is, where my brother goes, he follows."

Oh, so he did have an owner, "Seems he needs to have his owner then."

"Let him be, he's in a meeting." the woman smiled brightly at her, "Besides, I think he's enjoying your company and the little eyes of children are beckoning to look at him."

Looking to her side, she saw children looking over at her and the little bunny, nearly begging to see him. Zytka felt the worry of that morning and speaking with Riko melt away as she nodded to the little ones. Nothing made her smile more than children, and now, she was just going to bask in them and the happiness they gave.

 

"You mean to tell me that, they have advanced again?" he questioned again.

"Sad to say, ja, they have." Ludwig replied over the phone.

"With this bit, isn't there anything we can do?" Claude asked the German.

"Not as of now. If we do anything more, they will create a strike on any of us. They're juggling the nations around pretty much like a clown, seeing which one lands on its head."

"And of course they're in our areas." Tim sighed, "What about Vash or Roderich?"

"Roderich is tied up with Delilah's pregnancy and Vash is struggling to keep Tatyana in a decent mindset. He's even having Lili help him with Marie."

"She still trying to hurt herself?" 

"Yes." he heard the German let out a puff of air, "Caught her trying to steal his razor blades a day or so ago. He's been on my phone with Marie nonstop now."

"Jesus." Claude sighed, "Seems like each capital has their own bag of fun with them."

"Easy there young one." Tim warned, "You don't have yours yet, who knows what may be in store for you."

"Like yourself?" the man grinned at him.

"Ja, that is something that has hit our table as well, Tim. Seems you have a capital as well." Ludwig added.

"Sí." Antonio chimed in as Marques nodded with him, "Feliks was going off earlier about Amsterdam."

"Supposedly as we came in here, she was right outside. That's why Riko took off." Marques added.

This was what he wanted to avoid, the talk of Amsterdam. He still wasn't sure fully what to think about it in the first place, that his capital was in his nation as they spoke.

"Better get used to it my friend." he heard Ludwig say, "You'll land on your ass if you keep dicking around and not do as you are supposed to."

"No, you had the dicking right." Claude cut in.

"I don't need your input." Tim glared at him. 

"Got it anyway."

"Fight nice now you two." Marques chided, watching as Antonio disappeared with his phone glued to his ear, "Jesus, even he's on the phone every five minutes with his."

"Toni got his capital? Didn't hear that one from Francis." Ludwig asked.

"Yea, it was a little back but he's been more like Vash in that case, making sure she doesn't throw herself in an asylum. Let it be known that some of the religious ones are the tough ones."

Tim scoffed at him, listening to the rest of them speak about capitals and the war outside. He just wanted everything to be left alone. No capital, no change, no issues at hand, no nothing. Just his usual ways. Yet in reality, he was curious about her. She was different and something about her made him want to know more, she really wasn't something he normally looked at either. She was young, yes, but way too innocent for his own taste. 

A chuckle emitted from the other side of the room, taking his mind away from the others. He saw Feliks sitting by the window, smiling widely at something outside. Tim couldn't figure him out, the man himself was just a strange mix of rarity and weird. His eyes glanced around the room once more, the small little cafe as he and the nations had their own private area, yet as he looked around, the familiar fluff was nowhere in sight.

Standing up, Tim looked around the place, wondering where in the hell Lop disappeared to. It wasn't like him really, mostly he always found him sleeping somewhere or just by his foot, yet the precious creature was gone.

"You looking for something?" Antonio came back in as he searched.

"My rabbit."

"Told you, you need to put that thing on a leash." Claude stated.

"If you have faith and respect in your pet, then a leash isn't necessary." Ludwig chimed in.

"Yes, and I have that with him but now I can-"

"He's outside." Feliks cut him off.

"What do you mean?"

Feliks's green eyes landed on him, the grin blowing into a full smile, "He's outside."

Outside, how the hell did he do that? Moving toward the window, he saw a group of children surrounding a chair. Speaking with someone as they seemed to be teaching them something. It was then he realized who it was, as Belle tapped her shoulder and Riko laughed. She sat on the ground as the children surrounded her, listening to her speak as she pet Lop in her lap. The little rabbit enjoying her company as the kids joined in as well.

"Looks like your pet is a bit of an attention whore." Marques chuckled behind him.

"Just like it's owner." Claude added.

"Would you get off my dick?" 

"Boys." Feliks chimed, "Behave. Don't want to scare people away."

Tim glared back at the man just to land back on the girls outside. He watched as Zytka spoke deeply and happily to the children outside, telling them of something as she held up Lop here and there, petting his longs ears. They all seemed enthralled with her, he could see them asking questions as even older folks walked by with bright smiles to her.

"Well, the meeting's over." he heard Claude say as he came up to him, "Looks like she's the popular one."

He agreed a bit with him, she had so many people looking and listening to her as she spoke. Even Belle and Riko were listening intently, yet she paid no mind. It was as if she was lost in a world, or at least explaining ones to the children, gaining their attention and question. But all seemed to slow when a man approached them all. His stance darker than the rest of them as he listened, only then did he see Belle react. There was fear on her yet she held tight as she pulled Riko and Zytka towards her, speaking to the man tightly as the children began to scatter. Men gathered around him as he spoke, worry and anger crossing their features as they pulled women and children closer as if he was speaking of something dark to them all. 

Gunshots filled the air as people began to scatter, Feliks wasted no time to dodge out of the building, running to his capital as Javier wasn't far behind. Yet nor was he. He didn't remember moving out of the building, let alone breathing at that moment. The moment she was in front of him, he gathered her to him, pulling her to his chest as all chaos broke loose.

A scared scream left Zytka as she tried to push herself against him, holding his pet tightly in her arms. He saw the man again, giving a sickening grin to him.

"Amsterdam it is then." he hissed, making Tim's blood boil.

He charged at them, knife in hand as pure determination riddled his face. Yet Tim had other ideas. The man barely got two feet in front of them before he laid him out with a solid hook, knocking him back as the knife went flying from his hand. He felt her tremble against his hand as he pulled her behind him, the urge to fight filling him as a car's engine came screaming up to them. Dodging and pulling Zytka away from the screeching piece of metal, he saw the door fly open, only to show Claude within.

"Get the hell in!"

He didn't have to be told twice. He made his way to the car until a pull stopped him. He looked back to see Zytka, frozen in place as terrified doe eyes looked at him and Claude. Shit. He didn't think this well through.

"Zytka." he came in front of her, "Please listen to me."

Her head shook rapidly in denial at him as he tried to reason with her, "You have to listen, you need to get in or he'll try and hurt you again. It's urgent."

She shook her head again as she tried to back away. Why was she so afraid of this, did she not see the danger she was in. He saw her eyes dart over to the other side, following her gaze he saw Feliks pulling Riko into another car as Antonio and Marques climbed in after them.

"Zytka, alsjeblieft, luister naar me." he pleaded to her.

"Tim!" he heard Claude yell, "Just pick her up and throw her in! He's up and angry!"

Tim tried yet she kept pulling away from him, he was just running out of options, "Proszę, Zytka. Wejść do sam...samo...samo...Fuck my Polish sucks. Please, Zytka get in the car with Lop. Now!"

Finally, he got her to stop as his pet leaped from her arms and beside Claude. Only then did she move. Once she was in the car, he threw himself within, seeing Belle and Javier coming up to them as well. With the slam of a door, the car took off with all of them within, pants filling within as utter chaos ensued outside. He could hear Belle speak to Zytka about it yet she seemed lost in herself as he looked back at her, so afraid of what had happened and what was before her. 

"Tim." he heard his young brother say to him as Javier's hand came to his shoulder, "Where are we heading?"

"To the Royal Palace." he replied, his eyes never veering from Zytka, "I want an emergency meeting."

He wasn't sure of the other nations or their plans, but he had enough, "And I'm ending this shit."


	5. Chapter 5

What the heck did she get herself into? All she wanted that morning was a walk through Amsterdam and a moment of peace in the church, yet it seemed like nightmares of all types liked to follow her around. The rabbit's soft head nudged at her hand as she held her knees to her chest, begging for her attention, yet she didn't give it. She was too shocked, worried, scared, and now completely confused. There was so much that had happened in those few hours that she barely could keep up with everyone and what now was going on. 

The shattering of glass as Dutch profanity filled the air with other languages gave her a little bit of insight. He was furious. The moment they entered the building he had the Spanish man take her into another room with Riko as he and others spoke about what happened. And since then, it had been ugliness behind those doors.

"Jesus he's really mad." Javier said, "I've never heard him this way."

"You sure about that?" the tall woman named Marie asked.

"Ja." he replied.

"It's a stressful moment right now you guys, you're lucky we weren't too far." the nurse, Juliet pointed out, "How are you, sweetheart?"

Zytka looked at the woman, her smile was warm and inviting as she rubbed her shoulder, "Dziękuję, dobrze."

"You sure?" she heard Riko ask.

Zytka nodded at her, unsure of what to say or do. She knew they wouldn't press into matters like that, but she also knew they were watching her every move. All she really wanted was to be home, but now after that, she wasn't even sure if she should even do that.

"Well, might as well kill some of the silence," Marie said as she moved before her, "Tell me, what do you know?"

"Know?"

"Yes, know." Marie smiled at her, her hand resting on her bump, "Tell me what you know so far of all of us."

Zytka eyed them all, looking at them one by one until she landed on Riko. The small woman gave her a happy nod, practically telling her that she had told her so in the first place.

"Are you all Capitals?"

Marie smiled as Juliet stood behind her, "That we are. I'm Berlin and she's London."

"While you know from this morning I'm Warsaw and this fool here is Brussels. Hopefully soon, we'll have the capital Madrid in our midst as well as we now have Amsterdam." Riko beamed at her.

This was madness, this talk of capitals but it was all there before her. The attack from Genesis, the man wanting her and how he demanded to know how much she dreamed and others like her until Riko and Belle spoke to him, just to see him knock the jerk out and then have him pull her into the car. Genesis was after her and now the looming truth of the term capital was there as well.

"So the women I dream of?" she asked.

"Are what have guided you here to the Netherlands." Juliet said, laying her hand on her own. "I was dreaming of Queen Elisabeth when I made my trek to England and found not only the truth of my dreams yet England himself. And now, here I stand before you."

"So it's all real then?"

"Yes Zytka, it's very real." Marie nodded.

"And the man that protected you during all that was the Netherlands himself."

"Netherlands."

"Yep, that was Tim." Javier nodded to her as another set of shouts and bangs came to the room, "And he still is pissed."

"Tim mostly has is borders tight to a degree. He was trying to be like Vash in this case. He's good with war but I think he's been trying to stay out of this one since his last big one."

Zytka thought of him, how he protected her and snapped her out of her head when they needed to escape or the day in the cafe as he pulled her from the rain, yet with that, her dreams came to focus as well. How he stood at the end of that hallway, pipe in hand as he gave a half smile to her and with that was the war on as well. Him upon the floor a bloody mess as she tried to lift him and get him to safety as he told her to leave her be. She replayed that scene over and over again in her head, trying to figure out what was going on and what else was done to him just for the war to finally come to her mind.

"World War II."

"What?" she heard the two women before her question.

"You said he doesn't want to get involved really with war, wanted to stay out due to the last one. The last one was WWII." Zytka stated, "In my dream, I'm at a camp. I do whatever I can to sneak in for I have seen him dragged inside. Once I'm in I can hear him moan in pain. It doesn't take me long to find him but when I do and try to help him he tells me to leave him. That if he leaves where he is at then the people of him will collapse."

"Sounds like the time Gilbert was told by Adolf to harm the nations clearing names and getting escapist out of the camps and more." Marie noted, "Guessing your soul is Hannie Schaft. Nazis wanted her dead more than most, even after the written agreement of war factions that women wouldn't be executed. Had a famous line with her as well when she was executed if I'm correct."

"I shoot better." Zytka heard in her head and said aloud.

"Well, looks like Hannie beat us to it." Marie smiled.

Zytka looked at Marie, still confused about what was going on, "So it's really real, isn't it?"

A hand laid upon her own pulling her from her thoughts, "You're not alone, Zytka."

She looked up to see the bright smile of Javier as he squeezed her hand once more, "I was like you and I know it's a little out there but I know Tim, and in truth, to have anyone protect you, it's him."

"You sound confident."

Javier gave a light chuckle, "He wanted to kill me when he realized I was sleeping with his little sister, capital or not. But I know that he wouldn't let anything happen to any of us. The moment there was an issue last time outside the borders, he went above Belle and Claude and had their governments heightened before his own. Trust me when I say you are safe."

She watched as he spoke of the said nation, how deep he looked at the man, and with it, it gave her a small calm towards him.

"You'll be fine, no worries darling." Juliet smiled at her.

"So what now? You said Genesis is after me, what about my family, or my cousin? What will I do to keep them safe or myself?"

A small silence filled the room, just for Marie to clear her throat, "Look. I know it's a bit sudden, especially after today, but in cases like this, it is wise to bring the capital closer to the nation. In all ways."

It donned on her what she was saying, "Are you telling me I have to leave my home I just got to?"

"If it wasn't Genesis doing what they just did, I wouldn't even blink at it, but the fact they know who you are and the fact you are here in the Netherlands, it will make them more determined to find you." Marie stated as Juliet nodded.

"It's for your safety." Juliet added, "So far Feliks has protected you but you are out of his nation and he can only do so much outside his borders."

She let it all settle in her head as the truth laid before her, not only in her being a capital but the fact she would have to leave her home again to be placed not only away from family but with a man she barely...a thought came to her head, "Why didn't he protect me the moment he learned of me?"

The look that crossed Riko's and Javier's faces said the most, one that set a strange worry through herself, "Riko? Javier?"

"Um, well, let's just say Tim was occupied with other things." Javier gave a weak smile.

"More like lost in De Wallen and more." Riko muttered.

"Riko." Javier snapped at her.

"What do you mean, De Wallen?"

A sigh left the man, "Do you know of De Wallen?"

Zytka shook her head, never really hearing of the place before.

"I think she may know it like most outsiders, Javier. I know you're trying to be nice about it." Marie said to him as she turned to look at her, "He means the red-light district."

Oh that she knew and it set one heck of a stone in her lower belly, "You mean..."

"Yes, he's known for going over there and diving into that world. Last I remember with Ludwig, he even smokes but I think you may know that already."

"You mean when he smelled 'Tim's new tobacco' and Ludwig went through the roof for you were in the same room." Juliet smiled at her.

"Guter Herr, don't remind me." Marie shook her head, "He was furious for what was hours, had me outside for fresh air and screaming at the man for he could've hurt the baby. No matter what I said it just evaded him."

"So he's was some would say wild?" Zytka noted as her mind, heart, and gut fought with each other.

"Yes." Javier replied, "He's not bad I swear, just wasn't ready to have a capital. He's not the first nor the last I believe. I know Austria didn't take it too well at first. But after taking you into the cafe and learning who you were he was doing things I've never seen him do."

"What do you mean, Javier?" she asked him.

"He hasn't stopped trying to make things safer for you, haven't seen him breathe down peoples neck like we have recently. He also has been speaking more with Riko, trying to figure out what you like and more." Javier explained, "You see, once he realized it, it was more of a shellshock and he realized that everything he did before had to stop. Think about it, imagine you have been alive for hundreds of years and pretty much doing the same thing over and over again just for something to come into your life and change it completely around. How would you react?"

She pondered on the example, thinking of the church and all she did under God's grace, realizing he wasn't wrong, "I'd be upset."

"See? He's not mad about gaining you, just adjusting to a new world that he hasn't seen in years." Javier nodded, "According to Belle when Feliks first brought you up, he hardened his heart to love anyone a long time ago. Just keeps it open for family and a few friends here and there."

Zytka let it all sink in as his hazel green eyes came to her. She could see him as he pleaded with her to get in the car, so much written in him at that moment and yet she was so scared she couldn't move. How they even looked at her in the cafe after he brought her in from the rain, there was more there than she realized. Maybe things weren't as bad as she thought.

"Hey guys?" she heard someone say.

Looking up, she saw the man from earlier that drove the car, "They're asking for all of you to be present for this. Some sort of message came through."

"Lovely." Juliet sighed as she helped Marie to her feet.

Zytka just sat there, wondering what would happen next as the rest of them left the room, leaving her and Javier behind. She felt his hand on her shoulder as he nodded his head to the door,"Come on, don't want to miss the fun."

Slowly, she made her way to the door, following Javier as they entered a larger room. Looking around, she felt tiny in the place as more people sat within the rows of chairs, gathered around a tall blonde man.

"Does anyone want to explain this attack now?" one shouted.

"This is getting out of hand." another shot back.

"How long are you guys going to let them hurt the rest of us?" someone added.

"ENOUGH!" a solid shout silence the room.

Zytka looked over to see the source as the familiar blue and white scarf came to sight, "This is not your nation, it's mine, so shut it and let him speak."

"Danke, Tim." the blonde man said.

"Graag gedaan." he replied, taking his seat once more.

"Now, as I was trying to say, we have everything where we can. It is not the first time we as nations have spoken together as such to discuss what Genesis is up to. We are taking everything into effect. Right now the nation of the Netherlands was attacked, the main sight was a capital."

A mix of gasps and demands of who it was filled the room.

"Enough, everyone!" the man said, "And the capital is Amsterdam."

A small set of chuckles and wolf whistles filled the air, it was then she saw him stiffen. Javier said that he was ready for her, so why that reaction? 

"Anyway, right now the USA and Canada are sending part of their naval fleet over to help guard the bordering nations. It is all we can really do without starting a civil war upon government and the people within."

"You ok, Zytka?" she heard Javier ask.

"Yea." she quietly said, "It's just a lot to take in still."

"You'll be fine. Right now it's just big talk of the war. It'll soften soon."

"Herr Beilschmidt, Heer Van Hofwegen." someone came running in towards Tim and the man.

A slew of language flew between them, little she could catch as Javier seemed to be mouthing to Belle as the rest of the people within spoke lightly. She saw Marie talking with Juliet as she practically sat upon what must've been her husband's lap. Even Riko when she saw her, was glued to Feliks side. Was this what they all did to prove affection? She was wondrous with the thought that she didn't see the TV flash on before them all. Images started flying upon the piece as what seemed to be multiple languages speaking at once as more and more images poured through.

She watched in silence as it continued, wondering if it was the group Genesis that she needed to be wary of. The loud whinny caught her ears as the images showed the creature. Her spine went stiff. The fearful chill claimed her body as more and more things flashed upon the TV, languages becoming garbled and things slowly blurring. 

Oh no. Not now, she was careful, there wasn't anything that would...the time, oh dear god she lost track of time again and missed her meds. Her teeth clamped down as she felt her body tighten again. Her vision went in and out rapidly, but within those seconds she could see Juliet and Riko looking over at her, one moving toward her as the other dug in a bag. Even Marie gave a worried look as she faintly heard Javier's voice. She knew better, it was becoming too far and it was just a matter of time before it was all gone and she passed out. The tingling claimed her body as her legs seemed to float with her head and arms. A sudden pain ravaged her skull as the ground suddenly came closer, and then, nothing.

 

"Zytka!" he heard Javier scream out.

Tim turned around just to witness Zytka's head smack into the table she was beside and collapse to the floor in a shaking heap.

"Mein Gott!" Marie shouted as she ran towards her, Juliet beating her there.

He couldn't remember getting up, nor even moving toward her but the next he knew he was looking down at her body as it convulsed on the floor. Her breaths short and rapid as her eyes seemed to be far from reach, her body shaking and thrashing around as Juliet and Marie tried to help her.

"Put something in her mouth." he heard someone yell, "She'll swallow her tongue."

"Bullshit!" Juliet called back, "It's a misconception. Bite it maybe, along with the inside of her mouth but not swallow."

"Jesus, she's little but she has strength." Marie said as she tried to hold her hands.

He couldn't move, wasn't even sure he was breathing as he watched the nightmare unfold. What could he do? He knew nothing of this but only witnessing them here and there, he barely knew what they were doing now.

A hand gently pushed him to the floor, "Tim, I know you're shocked, but the girls are having a time with her."

He looked back to see Ludwig's worried face, "She's Amsterdam, remember that. Treat her as such."

He was right, not only for his own wife but the fact that Zytka was Amsterdam and he was standing like an idiot over her convulsing body. Getting to his knees, he took Zytka's forearms from Marie as he nodded to her, ready to help as he could.

Zytka's hands flailed out of his own, thumping him in his knee, sending a wild spark of pain up his spine. He grasped her arms again, crossing them on her chest as he leaned over her lightly, her movements seeming to just get worse.

"Don't lean on her or restrain her, it'll just make it worse. If anything, take off your scarf and we'll place it under her head to protect and comfort her. We have to roll her on her side first." Juliet said to him, "Riko, get Ativan!"

"You sure you can do that?" the woman called back.

"I'm doing it IM so yes I am."

He did as she said handing his scarf to her as Riko darted over towards them as she held the item in question, resting it by Juliet as it seemed Zytka started to slow down. She wasn't fighting as hard as before and now seemed to gather her breath as well. He saw her eyes briefly as they darted around the room at an insane speed, hearing Juliet speak lightly to her.

"Arthur, time?" she demanded him.

"A little past noon love."

"Wrong time."

"She meant how long has it been since she fell." Feliks stated, "Almost five minutes."

Five minutes? Had it really been that short of time as it began? It felt like an eternity watching all of that unfold. Her head wasn't shaking as hard as her body seemed to just twitch here and here in his hands just for her eyes to open for a second.

"There you are." Juliet spoke softly to her, just for Zytka to flinch away and attempt to push her away, "No darling, it's alright."

"She panicking?" Riko asked.

"Slightly, it's fine though, she'll come back." as Juliet stuck the needle in Zytka's thigh.

Finally, after all of that, she was still. Her breathing steady, her body relaxed as she seemed to drift off on the floor. Worry settled in him as he looked her over with Juliet. What the hell happened to her?

"Tim, I need you to take her into the other room where the lounge is. I need to give her a full exam, especially after she hit her head on the way down, need to rule out a hospital visit or not. Does she have family?"

He heard Juliet but he couldn't even utter a word, "Timothy."

He glared at her, no one called him that except Belle when she had enough of him, and even then it irritated him.

"I need you to take her into the other room." she gave him a stern look, "Think you can manage that?"

He didn't reply. He knew if he opened his mouth and spoke Arthur would deck him, no one dared talk down at Juliet without the man up their ass. Gathering Zytka in his arms, he hoisted her against him as he gained his footing on shaky legs. Damn, she did a number to his knee. Moving towards the other room, he heard Belle speaking briefly with others as the rest of the capitals followed.

Laying her down on the couch, he looked at her. Her tiny frame barely filling the large couch as she seemed to be peacefully sleeping, her brown locks spilling around her face as she slept. Gently, he brushed the strands away, tucking them behind her ears. It was then he really took her in. This was Amsterdam, his Amsterdam. She was littler than he thought. Calmer. Quieter. Innocent and young as well. She was captivating really, her gentle angelic features almost burning into him as she laid there, unknowing what she was doing to him.

"Hey, Juliet. I just called her cousin, she'll be on her way with her meds and a little more background as well." he heard Belle say as she came into the room.

"Good, the more I have the better to help her." he heard the woman reply.

"Tim?" a hand came to his shoulder.

Looking up, he was met with the reassuring grin of Riko as she looked down at him and then to Zytka, "We need to look her over. She'll be fine."

Giving a small nod, he moved aside. He watched as Riko looked her over, checking her vitals and more as Juliet examined her head. He tried to think of what to do or say yet there was nothing as Belle spoke with Marie and he watched the two women work.

"It's my fault." 

Tim whipped around to see Javier, worry and upset plastered over the normally happy Spaniard, but now, the man looked like he wanted to puke.

"What do you mean?"

"It's my fault." he repeated, "I should've caught her. I tried. I tried so hard to catch her when...she went down. I just...I just...I wasn't fast enough. I'm sorry Tim, it's my fault."

He blamed himself, but why? It wasn't like he did it. Yet the more Tim thought of it, he blamed himself as well. He felt that, understood what Javier was saying more than he thought he would've.

"It wasn't your fault darling." Juliet stated from her spot, "It happened so fast that not even the most trained would have known it was going to happen."

"But if I was just-"

"Javier." he heard Belle say to him, "It wasn't your fault. It was an accident out of our hands that no one could control. There is no fault, hun."

A solid knock came to the door as one of the secretaries stuck their head in, "There is someone here for a Zytka?"

"Bring her up," he demanded.

He moved to the door as Juliet joined him with Belle, "You ok, Tim?"

"Yea, just fine. Why?"

Belle stared at him in awe, "I've never seen you worked up over someone unless it was Claude or I."

Was he that obvious? He went to say something as the door came flying open, showing a woman before them.

"Zytka here?" she asked.

"Yes, and you are?" Juliet asked.

"I'm Monika Bartnik, Zytka's my cousin." she informed them, her gaze finally landing on him as she slipped off her sunglasses, "Wow. You're hot. Single?"

Now that was a little much to take in. Tim felt his jaw drop at her, wondering how the hell the two of them were related. Only then did Juliet whip the woman's head around and opening her eyes to her.

"You're high as a bloody kite." she said.

"Welcome to the Netherlands." she smiled at her, "Told Zetty the same thing."

"Grand." Juliet huffed, "Now as you are aware, your cousin had a seizure in the conference building. I need to know-"

The woman silenced Juliet as she dropped a bag on the small table. Tim eyed the contents of bottles and such. There was so many that he wasn't sure which to count.

"Those are her meds. Certain things trigger her. But knowing the time and how she is, she forgot her second dose today. Always has to be out and about now, forgetting to take pills with her just in case." Monika said, "Swear it's like having a child with me."

"She would've been home if she wasn't involved in the attack at Damrak." he finally voiced out.

Now she looked at him with wide eyes, "That terror attack. Was she in it? Whoa, no wonder she had one."

"How do you mean?"

"Her stressors. There are times as I said that certain things that stress her out and depending on the severity of it, she can have one. But I can tell you she normally gets them when her biggest anxiety comes up."

"And that would be?" he asked.

"Uh, Juliet?" Riko called for the woman, "You might want to look at this."

Looking over at Zytka and Riko, he saw Juliet touch Zytka's head, gracing one spot upon her head, "Bloody hell, is that what I think it is?"

"What, what is what?" he asked.

"Oh yea, her scar. It's the reason behind them."

"Behind what?" he questioned her cousin.

"Her seizures." Monika replied, "Happened when she was really little and when it started spiking and most medicines weren't working at times or having bad reactions her family just gave the basics they could afford, but once the money started to disappear, they made the ultimatum."

"To live with you in a nation with decent health coverage and more medical use of things, yes?" Juliet asked.

"Oh please, getting Zytka to smoke is like trying to baptize a cat." Monika laughed.

"Yea, I could have told you that." Riko said, "She's a devout Catholic and in her views, it's a sin."

She was kidding. Had to be. There was no way that it was true as he saw Belle attempt to hide her snicker with Javier. But looking at Monika, he knew it was true.

"Yep. 'No way will I take something that is wrong in his eye.' Always heard it from her no matter how I told her it was legal and ok. She's just hardheaded." Monika stated.

"Alright pushing past religious reasons, so the scar is what I think yes? A hoof?"

"Yea. It is. It's also why she has so much anxiety and more. The biggest thing is equinophobia."

"Enquin-what?" he asked, wondering if he heard the term right.

"Equinophobia. The fear of horses. Its how she gained the seizures. The horse delivered enough of a kick to her head that it didn't kill her but did leave her with trauma to the brain to cause them." Monika explain, "Is that an issue?"

Well, life was being funny for him, that was the issue as he sank down into a chair. This was more complex than he thought as he saw the prescriptions again as her words rang out. Seizures and phobias with anxiety, peachy. Yet what bothered him wasn't the fact she had them, it was the point of how would he keep her safe from them, especially in his home.

"What am I not knowing?" she asked them.

"Well, as of now, your cousin is in danger by Genesis. They targeted her and now she has to be with someone representing the nation in this war to be safe. That would be Tim there, but I really don't know what's going on in his head." Riko explained.

"Wow, she got into a lot of trouble then. Well, one less hassle for me then." the woman said as she lit a joint, "If that's all I'm out."

With the fading of steps, she was gone as he felt Belle's hand on his shoulder, "Tim?"

"What's the matter, Tim?" Juliet said to him, "We can help you in this case with no problem. Medicines and what to look out for, it's not hard to do and-"

"It's not that." he finally got out.

"Then what is it?"

He looked back over to the sleeping woman, his capital as his other majestic pet came to mind. Her glossy black coat and braided main came to him as Zytka's phobia screamed at him. He had to do so much to protect her from Genesis yet having her at his home would also hurt her as well, so what was he to do now?

"What am I going to do with both Zytka and Heidi together?"


	6. Chapter 6

The sun blazed brightly as the trees and land gave way to beauty and awe that she wasn't used to. Yet her mind was far from where it needed to be. She was a mess, to say the least. Not only was she wanted by the terrorist group, but now her cousin left her in the hands of someone she barely knew, the government had a hard eye on her, and when she asked her parents for help, all she got was to pray and stay in Amsterdam. That it was better for her. More like better for all of them.

Zytka sighed as they passed more of the countryside, watching as the land grew more fruitful in a bounty of flowers and more. She would be lying to herself if she didn't say it was beautiful, it was really more than that. It was somewhere she could see herself more as they passed more of the iconic windmills. How beautiful it really was.

"You still alive over there?"

She whipped her head around to see Javier chuckle at her, "Co?"

Javier smiled at her as he continued driving, "I asked if you were ok, you looked a little lost."

Zytka gave a weak smile, "I could be better."

"Now don't think so low." he chided her, "I know it looks rough on the outside but believe me, it'll get better."

"And you know that?"

"Yea. I was like you too at one point. Afraid of what was happening and what I was learning. I didn't take it very well when I learned, it just didn't sit right with me at first. But once I sat down and really took in the truth and what was around me and touched what I did, then I realized I wasn't alone and that this, indeed, was my life. I have Belle beside me and I couldn't ask for anything better."

Zytka looked over at him, "What do you mean by touch?"

Javier seemed to sink into himself as he sighed, "I uh, worked in the law field for a while. Didn't help that I could see things at times that even my dreams couldn't cover."

"How so?"

"Well, I know in religion most see me as a sinner but it's just something I just accepted."

Zytka waited on him as he fidgeted with his cross upon his neck, "Clairvoyance."

"Oh." she squeaked out, not what she thought of.

"Yea. I normally don't touch things for mine can be drawn from it. Pictures, clothes, name it for if I touched it, I saw it."

She couldn't even think of seeing more than her dreams, they alone frightened her but that would have been too much, "So did you help others?"

"Oh, I solved some cold cases as some would call them. But you know, people point the finger and accuse of witchcraft or tampering of things, heck even saying I did it." he stated, "I loved my work on the force, miss being a police officer but I just couldn't do it after that. Kept it hidden for a long time but like most things, the skeletons come out. So after leaving, I made my way to Belgium to find answers and well, here I am."

She had heard that people helped others like so but never really believed the term or such but now seeing him, it gave her an insight that she wasn't sure how to take. The world was becoming stranger each day as she learned something new.

"So, how about you?"

That took her off, "What about me?"

"Well, you." he nodded at her, "What, well, what happened the other day really?"

Oh, that. "I forgot to take my meds and the video was showing fluttering of scenes and flashing lights and with it, a deep fear of mine and my brain couldn't handle all the stress from the attack and that so I collapsed."

"So, it's common?"

"Can be. I try and stay on top of everything but it's hard at times."

"I bet. Your cousin brought your meds in, we saw them on the table. You do have a lot."

She was still embarrassed that it even happened to her there, in front of all those people and him as well...him, "Javier?"

He hummed in reply, "What did he do?"

"Tim?" he asked as she nodded, "Well, he was shocked at first, probably unsure of what to do. But with a push from Ludwig and Juliet barking orders at him, he just seemed scared for you, unsure of what to do or say in that case. But he wouldn't leave your side."

"Really?"

"Yea, even after the ok from Juliet and Riko, he was determined to sit there and make sure you were ok. I mean, he had a lot going on in his mind from the attack and that and how to keep you safe but he wouldn't leave you until his Prime Minister came in for his royalties, asking for him, that was the only time he left."

"So he seems to care."

"Didn't I tell you before?" Javier chuckled, "He had done things that most would have never believed that he would have. Barely knowing each other and you already have him bending over backward for you. Man, what did you do to him?"

Zytka felt her cheeks grow warm with his words. She never really found herself pretty or anything and she dedicated herself to the church so much that most men never looked her way, but being told that was something she wasn't she expected.

"Ah don't worry about it, Zytka." he said as they made another turn on the windy way. 

"I'll try not to." she replied, "Why not another subject, what are you and Belle having if you already know?"

"Oh!" Javier lit up, "It's a boy. Oh, I can't wait, September can' get here fast enough."

"Already wishing the summer away?"

Javier laughed, "Of course. Almost done as it is, just about a month and a half left."

Zytka smiled, realizing she had been in the Netherlands for almost two months and the last few weeks were more hectic than anything else she knew.

"So what about you? You like kids?"

"Like?" Zytka smiled, "No, I love kids. I used to teach the local children about God and Christ and all the Saints, just seeing their faces light up as I talked was one of my favorite things. You could see them learning and become full of wonder and awe, and that I loved that more than anything."

Javier gave a light chuckle, "So that's what you were doing at Damrak. Well then, you'll love the big meetings then."

"Why's that?"

"All the capitals gather together to vent and speak with one another and with them is all the cities that are born. So there is a barrage of little ones in those rooms."

"Really?"

"Ja, there are." he smiled, "And look there."

Glancing up, she felt her breath pause as she took in the large home. It was vast and tall, gardens of abundant colors surrounded and not far from it and the small bridge that passed over the waterway, was the usual iconic windmill, spinning in the breeze as the day just moved by. It was beautiful.

"Well, here we are." Javier said as he pulled up to the home.

"This is it?" he had to be joking.

"Yep, this is Tim's place."

This was his home, and now where she was staying? Zytka could barely contain herself as she bounded out of the car, taking in the sights of the area. She wasn't sure to marvel at what first, for it all captivated her. Making her way to the large flower bed, she awed at the bountiful flowers as their colors seemed to paint a new world before her.

"Zytka?" she heard Javier call out, "I'm taking your things in quick, ok?"

"Tak, it's fine." 

Zytka looked around again, taking in all she could as she moved around the back. More of the garden stretched around the side as vines climbed a lattice wall, the water lapping the edge as the canal seemed to go on forever in her eye. Another fenced building stood caddy-corner from the home but she took her sights to the windmill. It's large blades moving lightly as the breeze caught it right. It was interesting to see, more of her own liking. She always did like the quieter of life, being away from the city and people, not that this was out and away but for her, it was away from unknowing eyes.

A small huff of air rushed past her arm, spooking her lightly until a nicker caught her ear. Turning around, she was met with a long face of black, it's noises growing louder in her head as she envisioned it standing over her, attempting to hurt her. 

Zytka screamed, pure fear filling her body as the large animal did the same, the thing backing away from her as she the same, hearing it's loud call echo the area. She didn't know what to do, she was almost too afraid to move until a set of arms wrapped around her. The creature was growing farther in the distance as she felt herself being carried away, being taken within the house. Light tremors filled her as she tried to calm herself.

"Zytka?" she heard her name called.

Finally looking around, she found herself in the home, a sitting room by the seems as Javier looked over her in worry, "Zytka are you ok? Are you having another one? Do I need to-"

"No." she got out, "No. I'm just frightened, I took my meds before I got here so I'm ok. Although, hand me the bottle of Librium." 

Without a word, he did as she asked, handing her the familiar pill bottle. Swallowing it quickly, she tried to gather herself as another voice lifted in the air.

"Seems like he's corralling her back to the stall."

"Wait," she asked, wondering if it was real, "You mean it's real and lives here?"

Javier sighed, "Ok, I know he wanted to tell you and it was one of his fears as well with you and her. But yes, Heidi is real and is Tim's."

Dear Lord, it was real, "Are you kidding? It tried to kill me!"

"What, Heidi? No, no, Zytka, not her. She's probably one of the most gentle creatures you could find out there."

"It raised its legs at me." she tried to have him listen to reason.

"Because you frightened her, just like she frightened you." another added in.

Zytka whipped her head to the voice, just to see Tim standing in the doorway. Worry and upset radiated off him as he nodded to Javier, "Belle called before you got here. Go ahead and use the office phone, she's in meeting with her royals."

Before long, it was just her and him in the room, the silence beginning to suffocate the life out of her. She wanted the nightmare to be over with, to just go back to normal like before, but even she knew that wasn't possible.

"Open your arms up."

"Excuse me?"

"Just do it."

Begrudgingly, she did as told, just to have something warm and soft rest in her arms. Looking down, she saw Lop staring up at her as his little nose twitched.

"He's been waiting for you."

She couldn't resist petting him, feeling the soft fur under her hand as her mind raced with the situation at hand. She was staying here, no choice given and all she could see was that hideous creature.

"Look," she heard Tim sigh, "I wanted to tell you about Heidi. I didn't know what would happen or what you'd think. I've spoken with so many capitals and nations in the medical field, even the counseling half, to see how I could help you transition here better. Just didn't think the two of you would meet like that."

"She was going to-"

"If you're going to say hurt, no." he stated, "Not her. Far from it."

"You can't say that for all of them."

She felt his eyes on her, trying to read her like others, "Tell me."

"What?" her head shot up, glancing in his direction.

"Tell me why you're so afraid?"

"I had a horse try and kill me." she stated, "I have the scar to prove that."

He moved toward her, gesturing to her head. Raising her hand, she moved her hair, uncovering the spot on her head for him to see. She could feel his fingers trace the outline of it, the indent slightly there as the memory sits tightly in her head. Finally, he went to his seat, eyes far in thought.

"Now, see."

"How old were you?"

He would keep pressing, "About four or five, why?"

"Where were you when the horse kicked?"

"I think near its rear, I can't fully remember."

"Anyone else around you?"

"Why are you asking such things?"

"Because horses get spooked and will kick in defense. I believe either you or someone else scared the horse, causing it to kick. It wasn't fully attacking you like you think, just afraid of what it couldn't see."

"I did nothing to the animal and yet it still-"

"I did say someone else as well." he glanced at her, "Here's a question, what did your family do after the attack?"

"What do you mean?" he was becoming confusing to her.

"What did they do to help you not be afraid?"

"What as in, from horses? They kept me away, they're dangerous."

He raised his brows, nodding slightly at her, "I see. Family then caused the fear."

Oh, that was a bit far, "My family protected me from those animals for they are dangerous, they almost killed me and my family did whatever they could to help protect me from them."

He snorted a small laugh, "Ever hear of the saying if you fall off a horse, you just get back on?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything really." he replied, "After your accident, your family didn't face the risk of you getting hurt again by keeping you away from horses, telling you that you'd get hurt if you got near one. So hearing that for years, having your seizures and more, you developed the fear."

He was mad and truly aggravating her, "My family did no such thing."

Tim raised his hands, "Believe what you want, I speak what the counselors pressed towards me."

"Then they are wrong." she stood up, feeling anger course through her as she held the lop rabbit tight in her arms, "Now, if you'll excuse me."

An irritated sigh left him, "Up the stairs and to the left. You'll find your stuff in there."

With that, she left, leaving any questions and feelings in the past as she marched up the stairs, keeping her eyes down as she did as he said. Finally rounding the corner, she saw the small room, yet she wasn't sure if it really was hers.

It was too pretty to be hers. The creamy mint bedspread matched the walls as the pristine white furniture made it brighter and happier within. A part of her felt like he was just trying to flatter her and just look good, yet another half felt like crap for a moment ago. She could see how new it all was, it even had the smell of it. The rabbit leaped from her arms and landed on the bed, giving her a small thump of his hind legs for her to listen to him.

"Telling me what I should be doing huh?" 

He gave a small grunt as his legs thumped against the mattress again, "Yea, I know. I was wrong. But it's what I know to be true, and I won't fully back away from that."

The little thing spun around in circles, just to bounce back and forth on the bed, landing on her pillow to the end of the bed and back again. Zytka couldn't help but smile at him.

"Fine, you win, I'll lay with you." 

Placing herself upon the soft mattress, Lop settled against her as his head nudged her hand once more. Petting him once more, Zytka thought of Tim. From what he did to protect her to what she had come to live with as a capital, his no less, and that he also had a horse as well.

"For now Lop, I'll just do my best to survive here. Maybe things can actually change."

 

 

That was not how he wanted that day to go. He had forgotten that Heidi was out roaming and, of course, her friendly stature to anyone that came here didn't help the cause as he heard his beloved pet calling out to him as he stood there. He wanted to break it easy to her, let her know that she was ok and no harm would come, but after that conversation, it seemed weaker than before.

Her nicker to him was a small comfort he knew too well, "Alright old girl, I'm sorry about that."

Her black coat shined in the sun as her head pressed against him, "I'm not punishing you, I swear, just need to get her to understand and not fear you."

A heavy snort left her as she moved towards the gate, waiting for him to let her out. Did he dare? Looking back at the house, he prayed she would stay in there, just for a little bit so he could clear his own mind. Moving the heavy piece, Heidi bounced out in her happy canter around the place, bringing a small smile to his face.

There were still questions he wanted to be answered, ones that were a little deeper than most. Pulling out his phone, he dialed the number he had gained from Monika before Zytka came to his home, he just prayed someone would-

"Cześć." a feminine voice answered.

"Cześć, um, szukam Kinga Nowak?" he replied just to whisper under his breath, "God I hope I didn't butcher that."

"English?"

"Well, yes that works too for me, Kinga Nowak, please."

"This is her, who is calling?" her tone growing weary.

"Oh, yes sorry, I'm Tim Van Hofwegen."

"The man that Monika spoke about?"

"Ja, that one indeed."

A small chuckle came from the piece, "If only you heard what she said about you."

Her words echoed her head, "I can just imagine."

"There are times she could make even the deepest of sinners blush." she replied, "But yes, she did speak about you and how you are helping my little sister. Is that why you are calling? Is Zytka alright?"

"Ja, she's fine, just adjusting to the home as we speak."

Silence befell the phone for a moment,"The way you said that says it didn't go well."

Well, she read him well, "No, it didn't. I, uh, well, best to ask somethings and understand what I don't fully."

"You mean her epilepsy?"

"Yes, I know a horse caused it but what lead to it?" he finally got out, "Monika said out of everyone to speak to you."

A heavy sigh left the woman as she spoke softly to someone on the other end in Polish, just to hear a door close.

"Well, for Zytka, it wasn't always fear." she started, "It was a simple accident. We were all little on my aunt's farm, playing with all the animals and of course, Zytka was the baby of us all. Running after geese and chickens like the rest of us until the older ones decided to go to the barn. It was fun at first, we just did what most kids would do, awe at all the animals and mimic them. It was the older ones that caused it. They found a cattle prod, wondering what it did. They tapped a pig first and found it's reaction funny, after that they chased any animal that came too close to them. Zytka and I, along with two others, were out with the mare of the house, brushing out her mane and tail. She was determined to place flowers in the tail at that moment. So when she reached up to do so, was the exact moment our older brothers and sisters hit her with the prod."

Well, that explained a piece of it, "So my thought was right, the horse reacted out of fear from something and not her."

"Heaven's no. Zytka was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. My siblings tried to play it off like she did something to it. That it was her fault. Once she healed up and such, she was just a little foggier in memories and doing simple things, it wasn't until the seizures hit after the traumatic brain injury, that my parents made it known to keep her away from our aunt's place. They feared that it would happen again and just kill her. She was lucky enough as it was but that would have devastated them. So any horse that came by, either behind a fence or on a carriage, they pulled her away, creating more of a fear and before we knew it, she was mortified of them. Just even a hint of a neigh would set her off." she explained to him, "Granted, it had slowed down a bit after countless doctors and more with medications, but still there."

He was puzzled by her explanation, "So she's afraid of horses due to the accident and your parents kept the fear going technically due to their own fear of losing her, correct?"

"Tak, that is correct."

"Then why not help her the rest of the way?"

"Well," Kinga replied, "When you have a family of over seven children and one of them being a medical deterrent to the rest, well, you are kind of limited to certain options."

His mind whirled on one thing, "Was there favoritism?"

"Oh yes." she gave a sad chuckle, "The older ones. The first three. You knew with how they could act, like they walked on water, but we all knew they didn't. Sadly it was Zytka and I that got the brunt of it all. The middle child and the baby."

"So why the Netherlands?"

"Well, this may sound crazy, but she dreamed of the nation. Had these strange dreams of two women of history, it freaked my parents out and made her confess all the time. It made her paranoid. I was the only one that seemed to be interested in her wants and desires. We both love the same things and just got along well." Kinga explained, "But with it, my family saw a bit of a money escape as well. You do have something there that we do not, which makes me wonder if Monika tried to push it on her."

"She did, told us about it."

A small laugh came to him, "Guessing it failed miserably?"

"That it must've."

"So may I ask you a question?"

"Alright?"

"Why did you call me?"

Well, he knew that was coming, "Answers. I kind of angered her."

"Oh, got on Zytka's bad side huh? No worries, it barely lasts an hour with her. So besides family, what else?"

"What is it fully? Mokina said seizures yet you said epilepsy, which is it?"

"Epileptic seizures, more of the term Grand Mal's. The TBI, well traumatic brain injury she gained from the horse wasn't enough to kill her yet leave her damaged. Her mind will just overpower itself out and tell her body to do thousands of things at once, henceforth the lock of her body. Now some things set it off like horses and stress, fights, even tv at times could trigger it, but if her anti-epileptic medications and anti-anxiety medications are alright and taken when needed, she will be just fine. There are times she has them and doesn't even know."

Finally, answers, "So with all of this, she still acts like the horse tried to kill her, does she not remember anything?"

"No sadly, she lost a bit of her memory after it. It was enough to retain certain things but not all. Sometimes you can talk to her, asking for something and not even five minutes later she asks what you want. It's just the point of her." the woman replied, "So, what did you guys fight about if you don't mind an older sister asking?"

The sharp huff of air caught him off guard as Heidi leaned against him, giving a low nicker to him,"Oh, nevermind. I can hear it. So you have a horse. Mind me asking what it is?"

He smiled lightly as Heidi tried to rub her face on him, "Friesian mare. Pureblood."

"Ooh, pretty girl then, so what about fourteen hands?"

"She's about fifteen." he replied, "Seems you know a lot about horses."

Another laugh filled the piece, "Told you I was looked down in my family, I was a horse lover from a young age. Once I married my husband, he and I started to breed horses. Parents were angry with me for I was just making Zytka worse for them. Although, I'd love to meet yours one day."

He paused as he stared up at his black beauty, resting his hand against her head, feeling her mane tickle the back of his hand just for something to catch his eye moving from the window. Glancing up, he saw Zytka looking down as a visible shudder left her.

"Maybe one day, Kinga." he replied as he watched her leave, "But first I have some things to fix here."


	7. Chapter 7

This was harder than he thought. He tried, oh did he try and make it work for everyone. Speaking with Marie and Marissa, even having Neema and Vít, the newest capital Prague that Katka seemed to have a protective hold on, didn't seem to break into her or give him better ideas as he watched between the two of them.

Tim didn't know who to keep his eyes on more; Zytka as she tried to avoid even looking at the small stable, or Heidi who wanted out of the pen to venture over to her and be her friendly self to the frightened woman. He was literally at wit's end as Vít's voice came through the speaker again.

"Is she looking at her at all?"

Tim sighed, "As much as you would think she is."

"Now don't be that way." Vít stated, "This is a process that takes time, not something that happens overnight. Time and patience are key here, which, at times, it seems you lack."

He glared at the computer screen as the auburn-haired man grinned at him, that know-it-all smile plastered on him, "You know, you're a pain in the ass."

"My wife says the same."

"Yes, yet as the nation of the Czech Republic and the achiever that I know her to be with planning and strategy is something that just clashes with your attitude and off the wall, do-as-I-please ways."

"Hey now, just because I'm spontaneous, doesn't mean I don't get things done."

"But to Katka, that is a world that drives her insane."

Vít laughed at him, "Ok, ok. Enough picking on me. This is about her. So, from last time we spoke, she hasn't made any advance towards Heidi or even pictures and videos that we have sent, or even glancing at any of the giving, she turns away from it yes?"

"Yea, she turns away alright."

"Define that."

He pulled on his pipe again, feeling the familiar burn within, "Meaning she looks for a second and her mind and body seem to shut down."

Question filled the man's face on the screen, "Has she had any seizures?"

And that was one thing he was hoping to avoid but knew he couldn't, "Yea. She has."

"How many?"

"Approximately five to six, and those are the ones I'm aware of. Hell, I woke up to Lop bouncing on and off my chest one night as he ran back and forth from our rooms just to realize she was having one in her sleep."

Vít nodded, "According to some research that can be common in epilepsy. How about her meds, she is on time with them no?"

"So far she has but there are times I don't think they help her, just leave her like a zombie for a little bit, if not that ready to fall over in sleep. Her meds just make her out there until the side effects wear off." he said, "And that's another thing, I may not know much about meds but having multiple prescriptions like that shouldn't be good, am I right?"

"All depends on the issues at hand. Most of her meds that I've seen aren't just anti-epileptic but also anti-anxiety. There may be more to counteract other things but it's measured out where it needs to be."

"But isn't that a lot?"

"What's the matter, meds hurting your wallet?"

Ok, he knew he was tight on money, frugal if you would say on spending, but there was a fine line with him when it came to it and people's well-being of life and survival. 

"Do not start with me."

"Ok, just joking, but that aside, the meds are there for a reason, to help her. If you see an irregularity in them, a doctor needs to be contacted or even one of us in this case, hell I think Marie can point out what could be used just can't prescribe it. Just give us the rundowns that we told you to look for and you'll be fine."

That really didn't help him much, not that he expected much from any of them at that time, but maybe a light at the end of the long tunnel he was traveling down.

"Oh, I see." Vít lit up, "You want to try and see if the old ways work, try what her cousin did yes?"

Dammit, he was caught, "Ok, in this case, why not?"

"Oh myself, I have no say nor worry about it. There's plenty of research behind it that it backs it up in some cases. It's still in the works for it but it's been documented to help the case. Why not try and have her have the oil drops?"

"If only."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's wrong."

His laughter filled the space, "Has she fully met you?"

Tim shot him a glare, "Enough there, but seriously, it's sinful and wrong in her mind. Hell, to even light up a regular cigarette I have to go outside and away from her just to wipe the judging glance from her."

"She's a devout Catholic right? They are God's plants he gave to the world to treasure and use, it's not sinful. Was once illegal, but not sinful I believe."

Tim pointed to Zytka's location, "Then you tell her that."

The man shook his head at him, "Well, seems you have your hands full with her."

"Are you helping me or not?"

"I am, Tim, but this case is not something that will get fixed overnight. This is a process of time and patience, as long as we keep working on her and helping her along the way, we should be fine."

That was it? Nothing else to help him out with her but just showing her pictures and videos and just praying that she didn't freak out, not what he was hoping for.

"Look, maybe you can approach it differently. Show her comfort in the animal instead of trying to have her face it. Show her why you are ok with Heidi and why you're not afraid."

Tim scoffed, "No offense, but I've been riding a lot longer than you think."

"Yet you're still comfortable doing so."

Katka's voice came over the computer as Vit sighed, "Hey look, just see what you can do, try the thing I just mentioned, ok?"

"Yea I'll try it."

"Good, let me know the results." then the screen was black.

Tim sighed, how was he going to try and explain his comfort in Heidi to Zytka, she was mortified of her. Even mentioning Heidi to her nearly set her off. True she had gotten a little used to her but she still avoided her like the plague.

The heavy thump of feet caught his attention. Looking at the door, he saw Lop glaring at him.

"What do you want?"

The little guy grunted at him, just to thump his back feet at him, "You know, you never did that before until she pet you. Spoiled."

Yet he kept going, thumping his feet as he groaned at him, moving side to side of the door, almost like he wanted him for something. Shaking his head, he moved over to the rabbit, feeling him bop his foot with his own.

"Now you got me, what?"

Then, he was gone. Like a rocket, he took off down the hall and darted down the stairs, "That was interesting."

The heavy thud and shatter of glass came to him, finally giving way to what Lop was trying to do.

"Zytka!" he called out as he flew down the stairs.

He saw the clock as he made his way to her, no time was missed with her medicines, so what was causing this one? Finally, in the kitchen, he found her on the floor, shaking and twitching as Lop rested on her abdomen. Dropping to his knees and removing his scarf, he laid it under her head as he calculated the time waiting for the episode to end. Grabbing the known bottles, he mentally cursed this crap she had. Cursed at her family for making her fears so radical, cursed them for not helping her more and even cursing himself for thinking the way he did in the beginning.

The violent shakes began to die down as her brown eyes finally glanced up at him in wonder and fear, "No, Zytka it's ok. Just me."

He watched as she tried to gain herself back from the episode, her hand resting on Lop as he waited for her to realize that all was ok.

"My head hurts."

"I bet it does." he said, "I think you hit it on the way down."

Finally, it was all over. Sitting up, she gave him a mournful look, one he had seen before. He couldn't count how many times he and Kinga conversed over her, learning every little bit that he could since she came to his house days ago. He would've asked her, no doubt about it, but Zytka was so flighty when it came to her home in Poland. Well, he learned that from her sister.

"Sorry."

"I told you before, there is nothing to be sorry over. I'm not your family."

That was something that rubbed him wrong. Did he pick on his siblings here and there, of course, he knew plenty that did even as nations, but to belittle them and blame them for everything to the point to make them feel like they were nothing but a burden to even exist. No. Never would he do that, but for her, it was every day. Especially after an episode.

Once on her feet, he looked her head over, seeing for anything that stuck out to him. As much as he found it hard to handle, he did enjoy this little bit. Juliet said to always check her head for bruising and such when she fell during an episode, but even when she didn't fall, he made it seem like he had to check her all the time, and with it, get to touch her. Ok, not in a perverse way, but comfort really. 

He could still see Belle, so little and fragile, how she would lay her head on him and cry a little when her people were fighting and more, it was something he knew he could do to calm and comfort her. And now, he was trying to do the same for Zytka. It didn't help that her hair was soft to the touch and the skin of her neck was smooth and delicate under his hand as well. 

"Anything?"

"Not that I see of." he finally stopped, "Best to be safe though."

"Thank you."

"Zytka, what did I say?"

"I know."

"But you still do it."

"I know, I'm s-"

"Don't."

She looked away, gazing at the ground, he knew she was battling her thoughts within, but having to apologize for every seizure she had was ridiculous to him.

"May I ask something?"

"Sure."

"Why?"

He looked at her, wonder crossing his mind, "Why what?"

"Why...it?"

"You have to be a little more specific."

She raised her hand, pointing out the window as her eyes were still firm to the ground. Looking out the window, the shiny coat of Heidi came to view.

"Oh, why Heidi you mean."

She nodded at him, those sweet milk chocolate eyes finally locking with his own, "Why don't we sit down Zytka?"

Making his way to the small sitting room, he watched he grace the room, almost giving it a breath of new light as she sat in front of him. He really wasn't sure where to begin with it, letting her know his why to Heidi. Vit's conversation came to his head, breaking it down and explaining his comfort in Heidi, but in doing that, he'd have to tell her the very beginning.

"You know that I'm a nation and my age is greater than my looks."

"I am aware."

"Well to start about Heidi would have to begin around the seventeenth century, years blend together when you live longer than most things around you so I can't remember exactly the year. But around that time there was a lot going on for me; wars, population, government, lands, everything you could think of. I wasn't the strongest in resources back then and knew just how to survive. I was also trying to help Belle and Claude out as things began for them as well. At one point things started to decline for me and I was lucky to just keep my head straight during all of that nightmare."

He could almost see the forest again, it's tall trees surrounding his home as the strange noise lifted in the air, "I awoke one night to a high pitched squeal of a neigh. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what was going on. Making my way out of my home, I ventured into the woods, torch in hand as I looked for what was out there, just to find a shaken, skinny little pony. She was scared to death of me yet was just as afraid of what was around us. Looking around I saw the reasoning behind her cries. Her mother laid on the ground, gone from this world and she was doing whatever she could to wake her mother. I wasn't sure what to do with her, I barely could feed myself at that time as a forming nation, but I couldn't just leave her. So I was able to drag her back to my shack of a home and didn't leave her side. Anika was her name, and from that day forth, she and I were inseparable."

She became my best friend at the time. She was easy to talk to and didn't seem to harm me, just steal a carrot or two from me when I had them, but she was my reason to smile. As time grew on, it donned on me she wouldn't be young forever like myself, and I feared the day she would be no more. I was ever careful and vigilant of her, trying to better my lands and people yet make money for myself and get in a better standing with my ports and trade. It wasn't until an old sea merchant saw her with me one day, said she would be perfect breeding, that I would get a good sum from her offspring. But as much as I enjoyed money, I couldn't imagine doing that. She meant so much to me, yet the idea of having another like her was a small glimmer of hope in my dark world. After searching for days, I found a farmer with the same breed as Anika willing to help me in that cause. Almost a year later, Anika had two foals, a colt, and a filly; Nol, and Noor. Those days with those three were the best, there wasn't anything wrong outside my home. Just the three of them and myself."

He raised his hand over his lap, almost seeing Noor's head laying in his lap and could feel Nol nudge his head, "I'd sit in the field with them all, just letting the days go by until I had to choose one to go to the farmer I bred with. It was the deal we made and god did it hurt to do that. In the end, I didn't even get the choice, he took Nol for in his mind colts were better than fillies. I still can hear both of them crying out for him. It almost broke me. Afterward, I dealt with other farmers, ones I knew wouldn't want the same from me. Years passed and Anika grew older as Noor the same, I never bred Anika again, just Noor. She had a colt, then a filly a few years later. But that winter after her filly, Anika began to slip from me. I practically begged for her to keep going, to stay with me, but as cruel as fate is with us, she didn't."

Tim felt something swipe his cheek. Looking up, he saw Zytka beside him, her face pulled with sadness as she brushed her thumb against his other cheek. Shit was he crying over this?

"She meant a lot to you? Anika I mean."

He smiled, "Yea, she did. She was my first real friend honestly. She was there no matter what was going on and so were her children too."

Tim could still see those big eyes looking at him as she'd nudge him, easing away his emotions and troubles. God, how he missed her.

"Anyway," he began again, "After Anika passed, I was determined to keep her children close to me. Noor had one more filly, Tanja. The cycle stayed that way for a long time, from Tanja to Warner, Syl to Katja, I kept the line going, seeing just a tiny bit of Anika in them all. I stayed like that with them all, then WWI started. Granted, I was neutral in the war but I was willing to help my neighbors out in need of things. It was just easier that way. But one day after dealing with my government, I came back to a nightmare. At that time there were five horses in the stable, yet when I went back to them, it was empty, gone of any of them. Evidence that someone stole them just surrounded the place, I just stood there in shock as anger rolled through me. I don't remember how long I stayed in the stables, nor how many times I searched the towns for them, yet I never found them. Everything I ever cared about was gone, every ounce of Anika ripped from my hands. At that time I just believed that I was meant to be miserable and alone. 

"That changed one day. I was walking around the house, trying to figure out how to keep my lands safe as I had other nations breathing down my neck and also trying to protect Belle and Claude when that familiar whinny came to me. I can still hear that fast heavy gallop as she ran towards me, the muddy black coat and mane just beelining it for me. There was Evelien, cuts, and scars on her as mud covered almost every inch of her. I don't think I ever cried harder than that point, I just couldn't separate myself from her."

He heard Zytka give a shaky breath, one he knew emotion laid behind, yet he knew he had to press on, "I kept Evelien at my side as much as possible. And when WWII started, I had her sent to Antonio for safekeeping, knowing he was out of the war unlike myself and many others. After it, and many others of the line, you now see Heidi before you. She is the great ancestor of my first horse, Anika, and out of all of them, the most in her likeness. Thirteen from the beginning to now."

"Oh wow, that's really amazing really, keeping a line like that so strong." she breathed out, "No wonder you love her so much. What about Lop?"

"The same thing, found his great-great-grandmother years ago and just did the same."

Those brown eyes just stared at him, wonder flashing within them, "Strange."

"What is?"

"You."

Now that was puzzling, "How so?"

"When I first met you, you didn't seem like the man that you are before me. You were distant, unwanting, almost bothered by things. But now, after hearing that, it seems you just put that up to hide your heart that was hurt by man, whereas animals were able to show you a different world."

Never in his life did he ever think of himself like she had just noted. Distant, depending on the situation. Yes, he was tight on somethings but not that much in his mind. Everything he did had importance, but hearing her say that just shined a light he wasn't aware was dim within him. But the more he thought about it, the more she was right. He loved his siblings, didn't mind his friends of nations or even the people he mingled around within his government or outside it, but when it came to Heidi or Lop, he gave anything to just have time with them.

"I guess you're right." he replied as his head spun on her words.

"I guess I should try a little harder as well." she sighed, "You have done a lot for me that I seemed to have just demanded from you. I think I'll take a moment with Lop and read the book Marie gave me. Unless you wanted me for something."

Tim just stared at her. He could barely breathe as he really looked at her. Like her, he was really looking at her this time, only now, he was seeing a different woman. One that was scared of the world, not by her own wanting, one that suffered under a hardship that she was made to believe was almost a curse where everyone looked down at her. She was soft and gentle, yet stern and determined. Her heart laid on her sleeve for everyone to see as she spoke so much of her belief and what she knew was right and wrong. And as he fully took her in, a need filled his body, one that he knew she would not give willingly.

"No, no I have to go into town for some things quick, will you be ok if I leave you here alone?"

"I should be. I have everything I need and I took the pills when you checked my head, so yea, I'm good."

"Alright, I won't be long then."

Then, she smiled at him. So innocent and carefree that it sent his mind running. He had to get out of there, just had to. He was lighting his pipe the moment he stepped out and getting more once there. He had to or he was going to be in trouble.

Once he knew she would be fine, he made the small trek to the famed area. The usual hits from his pipe gave him no heed away from the issue within, so only one thing would help him then. He tried to push it away, the visions of her under him, tried so damn hard but the more he tried to push it away the harder it came back.

Finally, with one last turn, he was there. The usual spot stood out in its glory as his usual smiled down at him, seductively walking over to him.

"About time you came back, usual?" she purred at him.

"You know the drill."

She guided him into the building, weaving around the patrons within as the heavy lingering of drugs and sex filled the air. The usual room setup was no different than the last as she pushed him down on the couch. Pulling a harsh breath on the pipe, he felt his lungs burn and his body go numb as she raked her nails up his legs. Tim closed his eyes to fade into the moment, this was what he needed. He had been pent up in the house trying to keep peace with her and Heidi and monitoring her epilepsy and episodes as they hit. Release. Sweet release. Suddenly, he heard her voice. Tim's eyes flew open as he looked at the door, worry filling him as nothing was there.

"My imagination." he muttered to himself, looking down at the woman.

Yet her usual features were replaced with Zytka's as she spoke to him again, "Timothy."

Tim bolted upright, startling the woman. No, she hadn't gotten to him that badly had she?

"What's the matter? I do something to upset you?" the woman asked, he knew she would, she had to worry about this work if it got to her boss at least.

"No, no. Not you, it's me."

"Not like you though. Something's got you all wired up."

"A lot actually."

"A woman I'm guessing."

He spun around, looking at her as she smirked at him, "You aren't the first nor the last. It's evident. When a 'John' comes in and has that realization that they can't do this anymore. That a woman has claimed his heart for the better. Guessing you saw her as me huh, couldn't bear the thought of her being a whore."

"A little degrading to yourself."

"I tell it like it is." she smiled, "Want to know something, I'm glad. I'm glad you had that 'ah-ha' moment. So many guys come in here that are married and more, not giving a care. But it's the guys like you when they realize, they have so much before them that they can't even imagine throwing it away. It just gives me hope that there are good guys out there."

"I hope when Amsterdam gets here, that she puts you in your place and that you finally pull your head from your ass!" he heard Belle yell at him, and dammit to hell if she wasn't right.

"Go home to her. Show her how a real woman needs to be treated." 

Tim sighed, yes she was right. He needed to go back for her, to prove not only to her but himself that he wasn't this anymore. Let it be known on that day he would push aside his usual ways to make his Amsterdam smile. 

A thought came to him, "Actually, I may need you and the other girls here for other things?"

That gained a confused look to him, "Ok, what do you need?"

Tim smiled as he handed her the money, "I want all of you girls to dig what you can on some of your Johns. And if you get any information about Genesis or people within, I want you to call me."

"Holy shit you really are government." she said taking the money.

"I mean it though." he said ready to leave the place, "Oh, and another thing. The little building not far from Sint-Nicolaasbasiliek, is it still up for sale?"

"I believe so, why?"

He felt the smile on him grow wider as the very thought claimed his mind, "I think a little Sunday school will open up soon."


	8. Chapter 8

Day by day, little by little. Things had slowly built up for the two of them and for her, it was just a tip of what she felt was more to come. The water's gentle lapping to the side of the boat lulled her as Tim showed her around Giethoorn, giving her a taste of the calmer world of the Netherlands. 

The slow creep of autumn called to them as they made their way around the waters. It was hard to believe so much had happened in her time there. Learning and understanding more of what she was to become and yet who he was as well. And with it, a more of an understanding of Heidi. It had slowly become a point where she was willing to go outside with him as he fed her, granted she was glued to his back as she peered around him but a bigger step than before.

"You awake up there?"

Zytka turned around to greet those hazel greens, "Of course, just enjoying myself."

He gave a cockeyed grin at her, one she wished would bloom into a full smile. Belle had told her before about the large smile that would be on him years ago, one that even his siblings longed for yet seemed to have disappeared. But the more she was around him, the more it was coming back.

She took her gaze back to the water and sights, watching as the suns rays seeped through the trees, giving the things around her a strange sparkle to them. She enjoyed this. The simple things really. Away from the world, mingling away from reality as nature soaked them in a glory that only a few seemed to know of any more. Yet even with the day he was giving her, it didn't give a leeway of what he was up to.

"Tim?"

She heard him hum, "What are we doing here?"

"Complaining?"

"No, just curious." she replied, "You always have a reason for things, either money or government. Today was just nothing."

"Am I not allowed to be spontaneous with you?" he gave that half grin again.

She giggled at him. That was something else with him that was new, how he was. Ever since he told her of Heidi and why he kept her, he seemed to be deeper with her, listening to her, trying to understand even more of her, as if something snapped in him that was locked away finally came open.

"I never said that, just curious."

"I have plans."

That peaked her interest, "For?"

"You'll see."

Zytka sighed at him, feeling the smile cross her face. He was hiding something and wasn't letting her know what it was. Not that she was fully complaining, she was just enjoying the time with him really. Simple little things. Since living with him, the pull of military and government had him in his office or at the capital or even at the Hauge most of the days, and if not that he was busy with other things. Well, one of them being little Milo, the little city of Antwerp, but she was just as guilty being away from him in that case. She visioned the little baby once more, his sweet chubby cheeks as dark hair covered his head except for a single blonde streak in his little bangs. She cooed over the baby for over an hour as she and Javier had him while Tim and Belle spoke to one another.

"Zytka."

Opening her eyes, she looked over at him, "What?"

"We're here and also is what I was planning." he said pulling the boat to dock.

Sitting upright, Zytka looked around to see Hollands Venetië and on the terrace stood a woman, her soft features much like her own as she waved to her. It couldn't be. Zytka felt her heart race, half afraid it was just her imagination, that it wasn't Kinga standing there. But when Kacper was by her side, giving her that same goofy smile he did years ago, it was more than real to her.

"Kinga!" she darted out of the craft, running towards her sister.

"Zytka!" Kinga held out her arms to her as she threw herself at her older sister, "Och, moja mała siostrzyczko, jak dorośłeś." 

"Tak bardzo za tobą tęskniłem." she whispered to Kinga, hearing the two men sharing hellos.

"Oh, let me look at you." Kinga said pulling away and holding her shoulders, "Where did the years go on you?"

"It wasn't that long Kinga." Zytka paused at the thought, "Was it?"

"It was about ten years ago when I met you squirt." Kacper patted her head, "So give or take a year or two."

Had it really been that long? She tried to remember the last time she saw Kinga or Kacper but all she could find was fuzzy.

"Oh now, no need to dwell on what you remember and can't." Kacper said to her, gaining a nod from Tim.

"They're right, it's best to focus on the biggest thing." Kinga's warm smile filled her, "You."

As much as she wanted to figure out the gaps within her head, she was right. She had survived a life-threatening ordeal. True she had epilepsy after it but it was something she could handle, well at least with Tim she could.

Before long, stories were shared as they all laughed at little things, learned more about each other and what was missed with time, that the day grew shorter than she wanted. The gentle breeze tickled her skin as she looked over the watery view, hearing the two men get into a deep conversation about football.

"Lost in your head?" Kinga asked.

"When am I never?" she smiled at her sister.

"You always had a wandering mind Zytka, it's why mama and tata held so tightly to you."

"That's something I wanted to ask really."

"What?"

"Why didn't you ever visit?"

The look Kinga gave her screamed a thousand words at her, making her wonder if she said the right thing, "I mean, you didn't come by to say hi. Everyone said you did but not to me. Just curious, that's all Kinga."

The woman gave a heavy sigh, "Zytka, I know you don't want to think it but I believe you know that answer, you just don't want to admit it."

Did she? Zytka pondered in her head of why Kinga never came around, even when they said she visited, but the more she thought, the more it came clear, "They didn't let you see me."

Kinga nodded to her, "I don't know how much you remember but after your accident, I was more determined to help you. I was there more than the others but you knew that especially with Bogdan, Cezary, and Natalka. Once you were home and able to function a little better, I made it a point to show you pictures of the accident and that you were alive because God wanted you to live. You were to be a reason to keep moving and a strength for our family. You were a little scared of horses but it wasn't too bad. I worked little by little with you to be less afraid than you were."

"But."

"But one day, we were out on the street as an officer lost hold of his horse due to teens spooking it with their car. You screamed lightly, more out of shock and fear of the ruckus the officer and teens were causing, not by the animal. But for mama and tata, it was a kiss of death to them. I was punished for endangering you and forbidden to go to Aunt Inga's. Back then she was giving me free riding lessons for I loved horses and helped her on her farm. But after that day, everything I did was gone in you."

So Tim was right, the fear placed in her was done by her family, "But why? And why keep you away from me? You're still my sister."

"That what I said." Kinga shook her head, "But they didn't listen. They thought I was pushing you into danger, that horses were more dangerous than believed and no matter what I or Aunt Inga said, it was pointless. They were determined to keep you safe yet created the fear you still have today. In their minds, I was a sinful rebel. I will admit, I ran off to Aunt Inga's a lot, just to escape the extreme that was becoming home, until they told me to just live there with her. So I did. I not only was removed from the home but everything really. It was as if I didn't exist. Daria was the only reason you knew of me really, she made sure you got my letters and such. And she tried to get you to the windows or even downstairs to see me when I did come, but the older three stopped a lot of that."

"What did we ever do to them to deserve this?"

"Nothing. Neither of us deserved it. You didn't deserve to be looked down upon and shamed due to your epilepsy and I didn't deserve to be removed from the home and kicked off everything they had due to my choices."

"Choices?"

"Oh, that little piece I left out. Remember when you first met Kacper?" Kinga asked her as she nodded in reply, "Well, they weren't too fond of him at first. He wasn't in our church and didn't have the right kind of job for me. So when they learned he was a ranch hand for a horse farm and a Protestant, it was all off. I either left him or I was gone. So you see what I chose."

Zytka felt like a weight was slowly being lifted off of her as they spoke together. There were so many things that made no sense in her head when she was in Poland yet now in the Netherlands, she was finally understanding herself and what really was real around her.

"Thank you, Kinga."

"For what Zytka?"

"For telling me everything, about them and what happened, even about you." she glanced back at Kinga, "Dziękuję Ci."

"Nie ma za co." she smiled at her, "Oh, here's a thing, what would you say about being an aunt? And I mean a real one, not by marriage."

"What?"

Kinga gave a warm, motherly smile to her, "Surprise."

Zytka nearly came off her chair in excitement, pulling her sister into a tight hug, "Congratulations! When and what?"

"Well, it's hard to tell what yet but the best part, if all goes to plan, it'll be on your birthday."

"Really? February?" she could barely sit still.

"Yep, so aunt Zytka, you happy for a niece or nephew?"

"What do you think?"

They both burst into laughter, the moment filling her as all her troubles seemed to have just disappeared. A small tap came to her hand during their laughing session. Looking up, she saw Tim holding his hand out, nodding at her to take what he had. 

"Oh, almost forgot." she said, taking the familiar pills away from him, "Thank you, Tim."

"You're welcome." he replied, "We were thinking of going inside for a drink quick, let you girls have some privacy."

"Privacy with Kinga doesn't exist."

"No boys, go on in, have a good drink for me." Kinga told him.

Zytka watched as she saw Kacper lean down and gave her sister a loving kiss, "Will do mama."

She watched as the two men went into the restaurant, leaving them be on the terrace. Her mind pondered, what it would be like to have such a relationship like Kinga had with Kacper for herself and Tim. Would he be as loving and fun?

"You're thinking again."

"According to you, it's all I do."

Kinga laughed at her, "That's true, but this time I think I know what it's about."

Zytka smiled at her, "Oh yea, what is it then?"

"Him."

Ok, she did get it right, "Co?"

"Ha, more proof." Kinga teased, "Yes, him. You have that longing look in your eye, curious about him yet wanting. The very same I had for Kacper."

Well, as much as she didn't want to admit, she was wonderous of him. Since moving in and learning everything that she had in the last month, she had grown quite fond of him. Finally breaking him of that bothered attitude, he was much livelier and spoke more to her as he would explain key points of history that she never knew were real or at least taught. And as much as she hated to admit, she was curious to the full of him, as sinful as the thought was. It didn't help she accidentally saw him shirtless once, an image burned in her head that she couldn't remove...well not want to at least.

"It's not wrong in thinking the way you are."

"Kinga, it's sin-"

"No, curiosity. Sin would be doing so unwed. There is nothing in looking at the menu before you."

"Kinga!"

"Honest. Everyone looks, they're not dead. " the woman laughed, "God will not punish you for being curious as so. You are human, and he views you as such. You have walked a very straight path, he sees no sin in you."

"How sure are you?"

"Quite actually. If he didn't want you traveling the path he finds fit for you, do you really think you'd be in the Netherlands?"

Zytka paused, wondering if Kinga was right in her words, that if he viewed her strong enough for this world she was in, then she was meant to be there. Period.

"See?" she felt her sister caress her cheek, "Now besides me wanting to know how you've faired with Heidi, ask me anything you want."

So many questions rolled in her head as she took her sister's request to heart, but one screamed out more than the rest, one that she knew would come in play one day.

"As much as I find it wrong to think about I know I will find out one day. Mama and tata never spoke of it in the home nor really spoke of it to me as well. So, Kinga, what is it like to be with a man?"

 

The sun slowed it turn in the sky above them as they walked Amsterdam, hearing him speak freely of what she would be and what Amsterdam had to offer and yet kept hidden to most. She loved it. Hearing him speak so much, she could almost go to sleep listening to his voice, his accent deep and rich while his tone was mellow. It was soothing really.

Yet as they walked he seemed more on edge than before, as if he was hiding something else.

"Alright Tim, no more hiding. What are you up to?"

"Me? Nothing."

"Liar."

"Am not." his green eyes glanced at her, "We're almost there."

Almost there. She heard that a lot so far that day with him. True the biggest half was her sister and brother-in-law and the gentle day on the waterways but now it was something else and this one had him nervous.

"Can't you give me one hint?"

"Nee."

"You're no fair."

"Never said I was." he replied, "And now we are here."

Zytka looked before her to see the little office area beside the large church, its sweet stained glass door as the large window was inviting and waiting for business.

"An office?"

"And then some." he smiled at her.

"Pardon, bent u Meneer Van Hofwegen?" she heard someone say behind her.

Whipping around, she saw the familiar pastor of the church come up to them as a slew of Dutch left the two men, just for the man to smile down at her.

"You must be Zytka." he said holding his hand out, "I'm Father Abel, I'm glad solid punch."

"Thank you yet I do not know why I am here."

The man looked over at Tim as he gave that darn half smile, "I thought I'd show her."

"Show me what?" now she was getting frustrated.

"Zytka, please, let us go in, shall we?" Father Abel said as he held open the door.

Following in, she took in the area, noticing the little desks as the Virgin Mary looked over the room on the wall and the cross above the door, it was quiet and quaint, something she enjoyed, yet she was totally lost.

"Zytka, what if I offered you to help the children of the church learn about God and his word?" Father Abel asked.

"What?" she didn't hear that right but she knew she did with that smile of his, "Really, you mean I can teach them?"

"Of course. This office is meant for it. A lot of our members wanted a little space for the younger ones that were curious, so why not you?"

"I'd love to!" she nearly jumped for joy, "Who is the main teacher?"

"You." she heard Tim reply.

Zytka turned to look at them both as they grinned ear to ear, "What?"

"It's yours, Zytka. This whole space is yours to do with as you please and teach like you want." Tim said to her, "It's all yours."

"But...but...how?"

Tim shrugged, "I saw you talking with all the children at the last meeting of nations and you sat with all of them for probably more than an hour speaking of the church and God and how things are, using Lop as an example. So why not?"

She wanted to cry. Could've if she really wanted to as she stared at them, it almost felt like a joke but as Father Abel came over to her with the papers of the building in hand, she knew it was all real. She somehow kept her composure as they all spoke of what needed to be done and what she needed to do and Tim as well, Father Abel settling the calendar for her first classes with the children and then it was the two of them. Both in silence, as she looked at the room again.

"So Zytka, are you happy?"

Did he really ask such a silly question? Before she could fully reply, she darted over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug as the tears finally fell.

"I'm more than happy Tim, I love it. I'm absolutely thrilled and truth, today has been the best day that I can ever think of."

His arms cautiously wrapped around her, "I'm glad you do."

She sniffled back her tears as she clung to him. Happiness was more than she felt with him, it was just amazing. He had shown her so much in such little time that it felt like she was born again into a new world, yet his actions did make her curious.

"But since when?"

He pulled away, looking at her in confusion, "What?"

"This really." she gestured to the room, "When I first met you, you barely spent a cent yet gained more money from others as you racked up the price. All you were focused on at one point was how to make money. Now it seems like you want to spend it. So why the sudden change?"

A small sigh left him, "Turn around real quick for me first."

Not the answer she was expecting but she did as he asked, facing the far wall hearing as he came up behind her. Something flashed suddenly before her eyes just for a cool chill to rest on her neck.

"Alright, you can turn around now and look."

Looking down, her fingers grasped the cool object only for her jaw to drop. She didn't think he was serious earlier when she pointed out the pretty cross in the store, telling him that she wanted it for her birthday. But there it was on her neck as he held more in his hand.

"It's a full set."

"You got the whole thing?"

"Ja."

"But why-"

He silenced her as he grabbed her wrist, placing the little cross bracelet on her wrist and slipping the ring on her other hand. Zytka was awestruck with him. The little pieces sitting on her, sparkling lightly as she admired them, yet it was him that had her most, how he avoided her glance.

"Because you deserve it." he finally spoke, "You're right, I was what some would call stingy with money, was like that for a long time but when you came to be known, I just fought with myself each day that it was a lie and that it wasn't worth it. Yet once I got to know you and see who you really were, I began to notice more around me. And that is how others treat one another, especially men and women."

She just stared at him as he spoke, "Best to say it hit me like a brick wall when I really looked at how I was around you. That I wasn't what I thought I should be, someone that I would want Belle with. So I sort of changed myself a little."

Zytka smiled, awed by how he had done so much as her fingers graced the little emerald on the ring. He really had changed for better, no longer the man that seemed bored or cold towards people but more caring than before. 

"Thank you, Timothy."

His green hazels found hers, "You are the only one that can get away with that. And I should thank you as well."

She held back a chuckle, "Then we are both thankful for what we have and gained."

"That we are." he smiled, "Alright, time to head back. We can do more tomorrow after we discuss the meeting coming up."

Following him out, Zytka felt like she was on cloud nine. The joy that claimed her was more than anything she had ever felt before, nothing could have made it better for her. Seeing her sister, now having a class to teach about God, and the trinkets from him just gave her a better understanding of what her sister had explained to her.

"A man won't change you to suit his needs but change himself to fit with you."

She wasn't wrong. Kinga spoke in volume what it was like being married and what she noticed after leaving home, and now she, herself, was starting to see it with Tim. Looking back at him as they walked down Damrak, she noticed how tall he stood, almost like he was defending what was his. Well, he was in reality.

A hand grasped her arm, giving her a solid yank back as Tim continued on. Zytka stood there stunned as the grip grew tighter on her, just to hear a deep voice from behind.

"Finally got ya."

Looking back, she saw the man from weeks ago that tried to hurt her in the square when she first met the Nations and Tim. Horror roared in her as she felt fear overcome her body.

"Come on." he gritted out.

"Nie!" she pulled back from him.

He jerked her arm again, "I said, come on."

"Nie! Tim!" she called out as he pulled on her once more, "Timothy!"

Suddenly the man was gone, his grip loose from her arm as she stumbled back into another body. Zytka nearly panicked, thinking that another person was going to try and take her only to have that familiar scent hit her.

"Raak haar niet aan."

She finally saw Tim above her, anger rolling over his features as he glared at the man, his arm protectively over her as more people started to notice the scene.

"Fuck off, Nation." he charged at them.

Before she could do anything, Tim pulled her behind him as he laid a solid punch to the man. Zytka wasn't sure if she should run for help or just try and help Tim but as the two men scuffled grew more intense, the more she realized what trouble they were in two more joined the man.

"Tim!" she shouted as the one tried to swing a chair at him.

He moved out of the way only to have the second man kick his legs out from under him. The pained yell that escaped Tim made her panic and yet sent something off within her. Seeing him on the ground as the men towered over him just gave her a jolt of the need to protect. Darting over to him, she pushed the one into the other, watching as they tumbled over each other. The last one glared at her in hate as he attempted to hit her, yet it never came. It was then she saw Tim stand against him, throwing him back as fury overcame him. 

"Zytka go." he ordered.

"But Tim-"

"Run Zytka!" was all he shouted as the men came back at him.

She turned around, doing as he said yet she couldn't leave him back there, no way she could. Backtracking to the loud commotion, she saw him there with the men as a few others tried to help him out. Zytka watched as they all fought, trying to outdo the other yet he seemed more determined than any others. That was until the guy caught him off guard, driving a knife into his shoulder.

"Timothy!" she cried out, gaining his attention.

His eyes landed on her, and in them was pure determination. Pulling the blade from his shoulder, he spun around, driving it into the man's chest. She was stunned. He just brutally stabbed a man with not a thought to anything. Suddenly Tim was before her, yanking her arm as he told her they needed to escape the ruckus that was growing out of control. But she couldn't get her mind straight anymore. He fought the men as they tried to hurt her, and yet he hurt or killed the one without a single glance. Was that how life really was? 

Zytka was lost in her mind when she realized they had somehow made it to the small apartment he had in the capital. His cell already to his ear as he spoke harsh Dutch to the other person. What was she to do? There were so many things rolling in her head that she couldn't figure out which to focus on first.

A pained hiss came to her ears, pulling her to the small bathroom. She saw Tim within, checking his shoulder as he threw the phone down. It was then, she knew what she was going to do.

"Tim?"

He darted over to her, hands tight on her shoulders as he looked her over, "Are you hurt? Anything bothering you? Need your meds or-"

She held up her hand as she tapped his shoulder, "Let me help you."

"This?" he pointed to his shoulder, "No it's fine. I'll heal. Nations heal faster than humans anyway."

"Alsjeblieft." she said in his tongue.

He just stared at her, the small kit laying on the counter as she nodded to him, asking to help him again. With a sigh, he removed his shirts and sat on the bed. Quickly, she made her way over and began fixing up the gash on his shoulder. It was deeper than she thought as she worked on him, hearing him gasp slightly and jer away here and there. She felt like crap, knowing she was hurting him yet it felt right. As soon as she started, she was done, wrapping his shoulder up and checking the rest of him.

"Let me see your head." she stated.

Leaning his head back, she let her fingers comb through his light brown hair, feeling the soft tresses on her skin. It was oddly soothing, just touching his hair as she gained a hum of content from him.

"Guessing you like this."

Then he spun around, just to wrap his arms around her middle, pulling her into a small hug as his head rested on her lap. Shocked wasn't even the word she could use as she sat there, she didn't know whether to push him off or let him be or even if it was decent? His hand grasped her own, placing it upon his head making it move in his hair.

"Are you asking for me to rub your head?"

A hum of approval was her answer as he snuggled into her lap even more. Zytka felt unease yet did as asked. Taking her hand through his hair, stroking his head as she heard his breathing lull into slumber. She looked down at the sleeping man, the same one that protected her and showed her more of the world each day and not to fear so much around her. Maybe he was meant to be there in her life, maybe God gave her this path not only for herself but for him as well.

She smiled down at his sleeping face, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his temple, one she couldn't wait to give him. And with that notion, she knew she would be never fully alone again, and truly accepting what was before her.

"Sweet dreams, my Netherlands."


	9. Chapter 9

Questions kept plaguing him as he waited in the large building. So many thoughts and feelings he wasn't sure would actually exist for him, yet there he was, having them bombard him like the attacks of WWII. Worry. Nervousness. Wonder. Awe. Name it, it hit him as each thought came.

The large pillars and colored glass gave him no comfort of what was coming or how it would be. The idea itself was daunting to him but it was, in his mind, the right thing to do. Especially for her.

Zytka. How she marveled him. Each day with her was something new, one that he couldn't stop replaying in his head. Hell, even watching her teach the children on those days gave him an insight of who she really was. Cherub lips with her rosy cheek glow and the hint of sweet vanilla coming off her skin just made her more desirable to him. That and his frequent alone times. But now as time had progressed with them, he felt that he needed to gain her approval in things, at least have her understand things in her view.

"Van Hofwegen?" a voice called out.

Turning around, he saw the man in question, one that even Zytka trusted at one point, "Father Dominik."

"I'm glad to have found the right man and thank you for having me in this glorious city and church." the man smiled as they shook hands, "How can I help you, my son?"

"Well, it's about Zytka." he said as he gestured for them to sit down,"It's nothing bad, I swear, just trying to not only have my own understanding of things yet have her understand as well."

Father Dominik looked at him in question, "What is it then?"

All Tim could do was sigh, "Just having her understand that not all are sinful. That our world, the one she is in now does need her innocence yet at the same time that not all actions are bad."

"Ah, I see. She takes a deeper action than you do in the world. Keeping herself pure, yes?"

"That and the fact that it seems she is terrified to even do anything without it being sinful or dirty in her mind."

The man chuckled, "I remember how she was in the church. She really is a beautiful soul. To be precise, she took the deeper oaths of the church and God then was is practiced today. In reality, she's more like a nun than a regular devout. But I can tell you she does not want that lifestyle. Most of her thoughts are done by her family."

"They really believe that her epilepsy is a punishment by God?"

"In some ways. More of showing how valuable life is and how quickly it can be taken away. I tried explaining to them that not all was a turn from God, but they became too deep."

"Extremists."

"Not really, just fearful." he replied,"But may I ask a question?"

Tim nodded at him, hearing him take a breath of relief, "Are you like Feliks?"

"How do you mean?"

"I don't mean government or anything else, I mean a personification. A nation. Like Feliks. He and Riko told me not long after Zytka came to Amsterdam that she was like them and coming to find The Netherlands. So, are you really The Netherlands?"

Now that he wasn't expecting, "And if I say yes?"

"Then I know that Zytka is in good hands. I do not fear for her or her future. I believe that all will be good for her as long as she has you and others like her and you. So what will she be?"

"You know, for a man of the church, I didn't think you would be ok with this?"

"I'm a different breed." he smiled, "I believe that God knows what he is doing and has personifications of the lands to see how it's people are running and surviving. He works in ways that no church, of any religion, can figure out."

No wonder Zytka liked and trusted him, he made sense and for her, the world less scary, "To answer you after that, she will be like me, a personification but she will become Amsterdam."

A wave of happiness and relief washed over Father Dominik, his head leaned back lightly as his hand held the cross tightly, mouthing a silent thank you to the ceiling.

"Then she is in your hands now. Forever until eternity of life and will."

"And that kind of brings another question to mind."

"Oh, which is this?"

He felt himself choke on his words, wondering if it was wrong to think like he did and push a wanting agenda forward. Yet all was silenced when the man laid a hand over his own.

"I think I know what you are asking and in this case, the fact that you both are personifications, the act in itself of her becoming Amsterdam makes her tied to you so yes. It is perfectly fine in her eyes and in his view. So, is that why there is a bag of clothes below your feet?"

Glancing down, he saw the familiar bag he quickly packed out of her sight as she prepared for the school, "You nailed that one."

He saw Father Dominik roll up his sleeves, standing before Tim as a twinkle laid in his eyes, "Well, the water should be decent, best not waste time and let it get cold then."

Tim felt a new push of determination come through him, the sight of Zytka smiling at him as she spoke so softly to him gave him that push to continue on. And then, all would be perfectly set.

 

"So, what does the noble yet stingy Netherlands have up his sleeve?" he heard Francis question.

"Really?" was all he could muster over the small laughter in the room.

He didn't mind this, this small gathering of nations to just be themselves. No fighting or bickering, just normal talk. Well, until they started digging in places they didn't belong.

"Don't fret about him." Katka said, "He's more upset that Brie cut him off."

"Ferme ta gueule." he yelled at her as laughter arose.

"Francis!" Tim heard Brie yelled, "He mimics you enough, don't have him saying that!"

Only then did Tim see the blond curls of Jacque bounce around his father, just to be lifted into his lap. The happy squeal leaving the boy as Francis tickled him.

"Father and son." Belle said. "Such a bond."

"That it is. Family is a great thing." Francis smiled.

That was something he did know well. As much as they drove him nuts or when they fought and didn't talk, Claude and Belle would always be there when needed. 

"So, here's a question Tim, when will you have one?" Carlos asked.

"One what?"

The Cuban grinned at him, "Un niño."

Was he serious, a kid? Him? He wasn't very child oriented, by all means, he would rather just look at them and call it a day, "Really Carlos."

"Of course, isn't like you have much of a choice." he replied pointing behind them all.

Turning around, he saw Zytka smiling down at one of the little children as another clung to her back. Her game of peek-a-boo gained giggles and squeals as she laughed with the children. He knew she loved children, witnessed it when she'd sit with the children in the classroom, but for himself? That he wasn't so sure of.

"If any, one." he replied.

"Sure about that?" Claude smiled at him, "Catholics don't believe in birth control and you, my friend, can't keep your dick in control."

"Why are you obsessed with my genitals?" 

"Truth hurts when you slum around the brothels."

"What?" the cold question was easy to figure out whom it came from.

"I'm not doing anything bad, I will say that." he glanced at Belle, battling her icy glare toward him.

"Then why go there?"

He was silent, unsure if they would believe him if he told them but Francis beat him to it, "You are using the men and women there to find members and pull information, aren't you?"

Well, he hit that well, "Yea."

Francis chuckled with Marques and Carlos, "You're doing what Im Yong and Ivan are doing. I've had a few clubs and inns looking into it and I know the two of them have the nightclubs on the lookout as well. It's not a bad idea really. Need to release stress somewhere, nowhere better than the famed Red-Light District."

Small laughter filled the air as the other nations muttered to themselves of the idea, how good it really was in fact. He knew it was, had caught four men of the group with the people within the famed area. Yet it was the icy glare he felt pierce his shoulder that made him want to change the subject.

"Well since you just gave more nations and idea to gain more knowledge, how about Zytka? " Katka asked, "Vít said she made an improvement with Heidi, care to say?"

Tim smiled, remembering that morning well, "She touched her. Literally stroked her mane and all."

Gasps and praises came to him, knowing that it was hard for him. It was one of the most amazing things when he went out there that morning, seeing Zytka literally laying her hand on Heidi's nose just to move it to her mane. He couldn't even move as he watched the two of them, but God did it make him happy.

"Well, that's something to toast to." Francis stated as he raised his glass.

"That it is." Katka gave a sly smile, one that slightly chilled him, "And he also said her episodes have dropped as well. Seems her meds are working extremely well."

"Is that a bad thing?" Carlos asked.

"Yea, I have to agree, Katka." Marques added, "Isn't that a good thing?"

The discussion grew on without him as Taj and Kachina joined the talk of medicine, leaving him to sit in his thoughts. The sweet laugh of hers caught him, making him turn to see her giggling and playing with the newest Estonian child while Malvina talked with her. In reality, he hated himself but knew it was the right thing, but if she found out...no he wouldn't think that far.

"Timothy." the cool tone hit his ears.

He couldn't look at her, not with everyone around. Dismissing himself, he darted for the large office of his in the parliament building, hearing her footsteps follow in a rush. Once alone, she slammed the door behind them and made him face her.

"What did you do, Timothy?" Belle demanded.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me." she practically hissed, "I can see right through you and so can Katka. Now tell me the truth."

If he spoke to anyone, he knew it would get to her in a heartbeat and then he would be, as Alfred would say, up a creek without a paddle. But the cold attitude was all he needed to know, he was in too deep.

"I won't ask again, Tim. What did you-"

"I switched her meds, alright?" he blurted out harshly.

Belle just stared at him, no word spoken or a finger moved. Stunned was all she was and he wasn't sure if it was a good idea or- the sudden sting to his cheek gave notion to how pissed off she became.

Tim glared back at her, angered that the fact she slapped him with nothing to say. It wasn't a horrible thing. It was what he thought right and was able to do what her cousin couldn't do.

"Seriously? You're going to slap me before I can say anything?" he said, "I did it for her Belle, can't you see that? Those meds just made her a zombie, lost in a world that you couldn't get her out until it wore off and even with the entire pharmacy she was taking, it wasn't helping her. She still had seizures and such. The medicine she had was practically bullshit! All I did was try the oil out first in her tea, then I moved it to food, then with help of a few people, place it in her meds and to the point change them all to look like the caps she takes every morning, afternoon, and night."

Belle's harsh glare didn't change as he explained to her, "And since she's had all that and me silently smoking it near her, it's been different. They're practically gone. She's calmer, happier, and just alive in general. And you're pissed off because I gave her marijuana."

Nothing. No words, no moves, not even a blink of an eye. She stood there, cool and unmoved in front of him, and all it did was anger him more, "What, not going to say anything, or are you-"

"She trusts you."

Now that, he wasn't expecting. He felt himself falter backward into the desk, shocked that she even said anything. Yet it wasn't her speaking that hit him.

Belle straightened herself again, "She trusts you. And you betrayed her."

"Belle-"

"Don't Belle me Timothy." she interrupted him, "She trusts you, hell loves you. You can see it written on her when she looks at you, she thinks the world of you and I wasn't going to say anything but she's talked to me on several occasions asking about what you like and how you like things. She wants to be perfect in your eyes and yet here you are, pushing her beliefs and trust aside so you can have a minute of peace."

Perfect in his eyes? She was already beyond that point with him, way beyond that actually. But the change in meds wasn't for peace. Tim gave a long sigh, wondering how to say what he wanted.

"Do you think I really wanted a moment's peace?"

"You don't have patience, not much of it."

"That I've shown. You don't know how terrifying it is to see it happen. To watch someone you care for fall face first into the ground or look like they're dying because they're shaking so violently and bleeding from their mouth all because the damn thing they have made them bite their tongue. You haven't had someone cry on you all because they can't remember things that lead to it and how their body hurts. Or watch them take pill after pill after pill just to never see a different result yet when you actually do take action you are seen as a monster for ending a nightmare that not even today's modern medicine can master."

Belle looked at him, her face changing slightly as he spoke. He knew it was wrong, no doubt in his mind but watching her be episode free and not worrying when it will happen again, how amazing it was.

"So don't think I did this because I wanted 'a moments peace'."

"That doesn't stop the fact that you've lied to her about it."

"It is a little white lie. It won't hurt-"

"And when she finds out?"

He wasn't sure how to answer her there, all he really did was pray that she never would.

"That's what I thought." Belle turned away from him, pulling the door open, "I won't say anything to her."

She wasn't serious, that wasn't like her at all, "But-"

"I'll let karma bite you in the ass. She'll find out, and when she does, you can dig yourself out of the hole you made." 

Then she was gone, leaving him to sit in his thoughts and her words. Belle wasn't really wrong in that case, if Zytka found out that she was taking pills filled with marijuana, she would never look at him again, let alone trust him. It had taken him this long to not only gain trust but build her up from what her family made that if something did go wrong, she would be back at square one again.

"Stront." he muttered under his breath.

He really was in a predicament, and now he wasn't sure how to fix what he had gained so far.

 

As much as she loved the nations, capitals, and the little cities, she was glad to be back home with Tim. It was comforting when it was just him and her, alone with Heidi and Lop, just the four of them. Yet as she saw the distant clouds grow darker with the incoming snowstorm, she wondered if it was possible.

She stroked Heidi's mane once more as Tim finished her stall, making sure she would be warm and safe with the incoming storm. She was nervous to ask such a thing or if it was possible until spring once it warmed up, but she wanted to try it. Test herself out and how far she had really come.

"Do you think he'll let me?" she whispered to Heidi as her big doe eyes looked at her.

Heidi let out a small nicker, moving to the yard as Zytka followed. She watched as the horse's ears perked up, looking around as if trying to see if it was possible.

"Think we can Heidi?" Zytka asked her again.

"Think what?" Tim's voice suddenly appeared.

Spinning around, she saw him standing there, pipe in hand as he looked her over in curiosity. Well, it really was a now or never moment.

"To see how much I've come from when I first came here."

"You've come a hell of a long way, Zytka. No doubt about it."

"Well, yes, but I want to try something else."

Tim's eyebrows arched in question, "Ok, and that is?"

Well, here it goes, "I want to ride Heidi."

"Say again?"

"I want to ride Heidi."

All Tim did was stare at her; wide-eyed, jaw dropped stunned to be exact. She knew it was out there, but she felt like she made it this far, why not go the extra mile? She believed in herself that it was possible, her episodes were barely there and Tim helped her control her anxiety like crazy. So why not?

"I know it's sudden and with the storm coming in soon, I just thought why not before spring. Unless it has to be by then, then I understand for her sake but-"

Zytka was silenced as Tim called Heidi to him, watching the beautiful black animal make her way to him. Maybe she was wrong in asking such a thing, maybe she really wasn't ready for riding yet. He would know, he's been around horses for so long he would know more than she would. Yet the silence was giving her a small ache in her chest, almost like she failed something major in her life. Well, it was a way to prove that she was stronger than epilepsy or the anxiety but it still hurt.

"Zytka." he called to her.

"I know, I should have-" she paused as she turned to face him.

There the two of them were as Heidi was all geared up and Tim pointed to her saddle. He was going to let her ride. Dear Lord it was really going to happen. She nearly ran over to him as she looked over the leather piece.

"Here." he said cupping his hands below her waist, "Grab hold of the horn on her saddle and put your right foot in my hands. I'll help lift you up in it."

Doing as told, she felt him lift her up, having her swing her leg around and firmly sitting on her back. He adjusted things upon the belts and the reins, his hazels barely missing anything out of play, just to come to the side and lift himself up on Heidi as well.

"You're riding with me? Is that possible?"

"I trust Heidi enough, I know she can handle us." he said adjusting himself in the saddle, "She handled Carlos drunk with Neilus so if she could handle those two she can handle us."

Zytka stared at him, knowing what he was stating, "Tim! That's not nice!"

"What? They were both drunk and both are bigger than you and I combined. They were determined to ride her, so I let them. They only made a few feet before they fell off together but still."

Zytka shook her head at him as she looked back at Heidi, feeling her heart race in her chest yet her mind seemed to be calm at the moment. She really was on a horse, fully seated and ready to ride no less.

"Alright, you'll have control of her. You hold the reins like so, so which way you pull she will go. You can do the same with your feet as well, just give her side a little nudge and she'll follow. But now I believe she'll just follow the waterway there, easy on you as well."

"Ok." she breathed out, now realizing she was holding her breath.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Of course." she straightened herself up, "So to make her go?"

She heard Tim chuckle as he clicked his tongue. With a sudden jolt, Heidi moved, making her grip the reins tighter and feel Tim hold her still.

"It's alright, she's just walking. Just doing what she knows best."

It was happening. It really was happening, she wasn't just touching a horse or near one, she was riding it. Literally riding on the back of a horse and she hadn't died. She felt herself smile as Heidi did as Tim said she would. Lightly walking the waterway as he told her little bits of knowledge for riding and what to expect. Truth, this was perfect. 

"Did you ever ride any of your horses to war?" she asked as he rambled of past things.

"A few. Truus and Pim were two. Horses are more reliable than cars."

Zytka smiled, "Then why don't you ride Heidi to meetings?"

She heard him chuckle, "If it was that easy and not so populated, I may think about it."

"It'd be funny."

"It would be. Toni and Marques along with Claude would never let it go."

She tried to picture the stoic man riding to the meetings on Heidi, yet she knew he wasn't wrong. Claude was always nitpicking him about things as Belle would scold him over something else, yet even with everything they fought about, they seemed to have a stronger bond than she did with her family. Well, except Kinga.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked.

"Yes, very much so. It's different." she replied, seeing the storm clouds growing darker, "Guessing you want to turn back huh?"

"How far do you think we've gone and for how long?"

"Not long, a few minutes, maybe ten. Why?"

She could almost hear him smiling as he held his watch up to her, "This is why I like riding, time doesn't exist."

Looking at the watch, she learned what he meant, "We've been riding for a half hour? It doesn't feel like that."

"It doesn't. I had you talking for a little and with her pace and calm manner it was easy to let time slide by easily."

"So is this why Belle and the other nations want spring, so they can have the kids on Heidi?"

He cracked a smile, "Pretty much. Heidi loves the attention and it teaches the kids a little responsibility and that they have fun riding her. The only flaw is the fight of who goes next."

"Seems you have it down well."

"I do at times, but no ones perfect." he replied, "We should get back. As much as I love riding I don't want her getting stuck in this snowstorm and getting sick. Nor do I want it for you either."

Turning Heidi, they began the walk back, watching as the small flakes began to fall before them. It was almost like a winter dream, one that stories came up with to give the light of happiness in the cold times. But with the snow, it gave a small ache in her chest, one that she knew came from. She didn't want it to end. The riding, her bravery, the fact that she had made it so far, and to top it all off, being with him. Besides the warmth of Heidi below her, Tim's body was just as warm and inviting to her, feeling his hands wrap around her just for his breath to tickle her neck and ear. It was this closeness she craved from him. 

The wind began a low howl as the flakes began to fall faster, "Seems like it came faster than we planned."

"That it did." he replied, "We'll be alright."

She thought for a moment, "Think we could go faster?"

"I don't want to push you-"

"But I'm fine." she stated, "I don't feel overwhelmed or fear, I feel in control. Please? Alsjeblieft?"

His eyes looked down at her as she looked up at him, "Did you use Dutch on me?"

"Maybe."

Tim shook his head as his hand entwined with hers, "I need you to hand onto her mane, as tight as you can with the reins. Press your knees to her side, to hang on as well. Keep your feet balanced with the stirrup and lean forward slightly, it helps her with center of balance and makes it easier for her to run, ok?"

Zytka looked back at him, trying to process what he said to her, "I think so."

There was no confidence in her voice at that second and he knew it when he gave her that heavy sigh, "Just follow what I do. Lean your body against mine and hold on tight."

Wrapping the reins and her mane in her hands, she felt his body fully against her back, moving her how he needed her to be. It was unnerving with all that was going on but she trusted him and what he was saying. His hands overlapped her own as he finally relaxed against her.

"Ready?"

Zytka nodded, unable to speak as Heidi seemed to know what was to be asked, just for Tim to crack the reins and give a hard command. Then she took off. The cold wind stung her cheeks but the feeling of adrenaline and being free overcame it all. The speed and power that Heidi was and the comfort and control that Tim had settled all negative thoughts and feelings away. It was amazing. Exhilarating. Exciting. And she wasn't sure if she wanted to shout in happiness or just let go and feel the wind surround her as she road the majestic animal.

With a final turn, the home came to view and Heidi slowed down under Tim's order. Zytka followed what Tim did, knowing that it was all ok as she finally stopped only a few yards away from the barn.

"Zytka," she heard Tim finally speak, "Are you alright?"

Zytka turned to look at him, seeing worry plastered on his face yet she couldn't contain her excitement, "That was amazing! I want to do it again!"

Then she witnessed something amazing once more, Tim smiling completely and fully laughing. She couldn't help but join him as they finally made it to the barn. He was so different there, so carefree and happy. More so than she seen before, and now something she wanted to see all the time with him.

"You should do that more often."

"What should I do?"

"Laugh and smile like that." she told him, "You're even more handsome when you do."

Zytka slapped her hand over her mouth, shocked she even said anything like that to him. She wasn't sure who was more shocked, her or him? Just then a gentle kiss came to her head, making her embarrassment disappear.

"You looked a little lost there." he said with that smile.

Zytka couldn't stop herself this time. She had seen how Kinga gently touched Kacper when they kiss or even just holding hands, such a small notion but it spoke such loud volumes. Gently, she reached up to him, cupping his cheek as she prayed she didn't screw this up. Pulling him to her, she placed a small, chaste kiss on his lips. 

She pulled away fast, afraid that he wouldn't feel the same as she yet it felt so magical at that second and now all she wanted to do was- his hand cupped the back of her head, bringing her to him again, only this time the kiss was deep and pure. 

Zytka could feel a warm tingle radiate through her body as his lips molded to her own, shocked that it was even happening. His other arm wrapped around her as her free hand laid against his cheek again. There was no cold or storm, just Tim and her, and was she loving it. She let out a content sigh, only to have him kiss her deeper, giving more passion and warmth to it. If he could do this, what else could he do?

Suddenly he pulled away, "Well, we better get in before we get cold and Heidi and you get sick."

She watched as he got down from Heidi's back, waiting for her to move as well. Did she do something to make him stop? Moving to get off, she lost her footing from the stirrup and landed in Tim's arms. Zytka clung to his neck, afraid to fall and what would happen but looking at him again, she knew it was alright as he smiled at her once more. How could this man make her heart sing like so? She quickly pressed a kiss to him, feeling the warmth roll through her again as his grip seemed to tighten against her. 

"Stop Zytka." he said as he pulled away.

"What? Did I do something wrong?"

His eyes widened at her, "Wat, nee! No, no you didn't do anything wrong. I liked it a lot, to be honest. But I've developed a problem."

"A problem?" what did he mean by that?

"Um, well, you and I were against each other when riding and it felt good and kissing you like so didn't help my mind either so...ja."

"Oh." she let out as the reason fully came to her, "Oh, I, uh, excited you then."

"Ja. Best to let me, uh, cool off as I put Heidi away."

Giving a nod, he let her down. Moving away as she went inside to finish the dinner she started for him. She kissed him. She kissed him and he liked it and dear lord in heaven it was amazing. Looking back at him she watched him quietly exclaim his own happiness to Heidi as he lead her in the barn. Happiness bloomed all through her as she walked into the home. Kinga was right, things would fall into place and show her a new world she would never want to leave.

The phone rang out, disrupting her thoughts. The number upon the screen was unfamiliar but she knew government officials were out and had his number if anything came up. Wasn't like he didn't have her take messages for him before.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Timmy there?" a female voice replied.

"Um, out in the barn, who's this?" Zytka asked, feeling a sting of jealousy hit her heart.

"Trish. He knows the business." the woman replied, "Tell him the Red Lights, building four for me."

Then the line went dead. What was that all about? Zytka stared at the phone, trying to figure out what to think as the woman's words rang in her head. Was Tim still going to the Red Light District, even with how far they made it? She saw him out the window, finishing up with Heidi as he made his way to the house. Thousands of questions ran through her head as she placed the phone back, pretending to never have heard the phone as he came in.

"So you really enjoyed riding Heidi?" he asked, placing his coat away.

"Of course, said I wanted to do it again." she replied, trying to hide her worry.

"Good, you really have come from such a far way." he said, kissing her head, "I'm really proud of you."

Was he? The phone rang once more, this time she could hear the prime minister on the device as Tim dismissed himself quickly. She wondered if it was all in her head, that the woman was nothing but some mistake of a phone number, that he would never lie like that to her. 

Yet there was something inside her telling her, no, demanding her to find the truth. Zytka prayed she was wrong, she had to be. But if she wasn't, and he was lying, then what would be really left for her?


	10. Chapter 10

"Angel of God, my guardian dear, To whom God’s love commits me here, Ever this day, be at my side, To light and guard, Rule and guide. Amen." the little choir of voices said aloud with her.

"Remember, that in our hearts, He sits within us. Watching our sins and our paths, so we can be ever full of His light." she smiled at them all. "God Bless you, my little students."

"God Bless you, Miss Zytka!" they all called out, one by one standing and giving her a quick hug before finding their family with their new trinkets and crafts of God's love.

How beautiful they all were, so full of happiness and curiosity. It just made her bubbly when they would want to know more or just want her to read psalms and verses, she just wished he would be more focused with things like they were.

Zytka sighed, knowing it really wasn't Tim's fault with that. The government had him busy constantly and with Genesis surrounding nations and attempting to take capitals, it was scarier than before. She didn't realize how bad it was until she heard of the attempted terrorist attack in Tilburg, and him sending her to Leer, Germany for protection. Those four days were a nightmare away from him but she understood it's meaning. 

Yet out of everything that happened, she was still perplexed over one thing. She glanced back at the map of the city, figuring out how long it would take her to get there and back to the apartment before he realized.

"Six minutes from here to there, and then another five to the apartment." she quietly let out.

She glanced up at the clock, praying deep within herself that it was nothing more but her own imagination that plagued her thoughts, "Best now or never."

Saying a silent Hail Mary and locking the school room up, she quickly made her way down to De Wallen. She had to be fast, that was given. When Tim was ready to go home, there was no time wasted there. Impatient as usual. The variety of shops and people surrounded her as she made her way to the popular location, she just prayed she was wrong. Zytka shook her head, trying to rid the thoughts that came to her head. She knew it was wrong, he kissed her every morning and night, made sure she was safe and warm and comfortable, there would be no reason for him to be in the brothels. Yet trying to prove that was growing dimmer with the phone call replaying in her memory.

"Just find what you need and get out of there." she muttered to herself.

Finally rounding the bend, she saw the brothels, the men waiting as women laughed, and of course the prostitutes in the window. It was her own fault asking Claude for the truth about him and the brothels before she came into the Netherlands and, as usual, Claude was blunt and left no stone unturned. Now all she wanted to do was prove her thoughts wrong.

"You look lost." someone shouted at her.

"Sorry," she called back as she saw the women sitting outside, "Just looking for somewhere or well someone."

"Got a specific man? That's on the other side." the one replied back.

"Not for that, I think he's here."

"Oh, your man sleeping with one of us."

She prayed he wasn't, "I don't know."

The laughter erupted from them as they pointed out everything about her, oh how she hated being there but she just had to find him, "Oh, Tim, why here?"

"Wait! Tim? Are you looking for Timmy?" one of them asked.

Zytka turned around to see one of them coming up to her. Her clothes tight and revealing while her eyes were wide with curiosity, "Are you looking for Tim van Hofwegen?"

"I am."

The woman grabbed her arm, pulling her to the side of the building, "Follow me."

Now she was more nervous than ever, following the woman to an entrance, she wondered what she'd learn from her. Once within, the woman paused, looking her over as Zytka did the same. In her mind, she was the typical woman men wanted. Curvy, perfect skin, blonde hair, sparkling eyes, and as harsh as it was, open to the guys. Everything that she wasn't.

"So, quick question, are you his girl?" she asked her.

Zytka only nodded, afraid that if she opened her mouth she would completely lose it.

"Wow, you're prettier than I imagined. I'm Lady by the way."

"Co?" 

"Yea, when I figured out he was smitten with a girl outside of here, I assumed stupidly that you'd look like me or the other girls. What most think men want. You, on the other hand, are almost like the doting housewife. Clean and fair, so perfect. You even him out really."

She was stunned, unsure of what to say as she gathered in what she was told, "I'm more than you thought?"

"Yea, very much so."

"Then why would he come here?" she finally felt her breath hitch in her throat as emotions began to run wild, "Why would he? I know I don't give him everything that a woman should but I'm not changing my beliefs to satisfy him. I just won't but coming here isn't-"

"Whoa, whoa!" the woman said to her, "Calm down, it's not what you think?"

"Not what I think? He's in the brothels, what more am I to think?" she felt the tears fall down her cheeks.

"Because he's not sleeping with us, he's having us help him."

"How? Pleasuring him?"

She shrugged, "At one point yea, it was only that. But the day I saw his eyes when he tried to find pleasure here, it just looked like he wanted to be sick. I've seen it before, the look of 'I screwed up, I can't do this', that was his face completely. It's when I learned of you. I'm glad really that he had that epiphany, so many guys out there willing to sleep with others over their wives or girlfriends, it's sad. But when he realized what we could do, he put us all to work for him."

"How?" she whispered.

"We keep documentation of johns, just in case one of us gets hurt or more. As risky as it is, he had us searching johns for Genesis members. Humans are simple creatures, all we need is sleep, food, water, and sex to function. Gotta feed a hungry member something, so why not us? We found about five or six now, sleazing around here. Told Tim about them as well. It's a way for him to weed out the ugly of the city."

Now she felt like an ass. She deeply assumed he was there for pleasure but in reality, he was trying to stop Genesis members from hurting others. Her heart clamped up a bit, making her regret every thought that came to her on her way.

"He didn't tell you did he?"

"No."

The woman sighed, "Kinda figured that when you were walking around in here in search of him. You aren't the first to look for a lover, but you had a better outcome than others."

"You are right there, I just feel bad for assuming."

"You trust him?"

"Of course I do, but I also knew his past with coming here. It scared me that I wasn't good enough."

The woman laughed, "Good enough? I look at you and see why he does what he does, you are his all the way through and he will stop at nothing to protect you. You don't have to be good enough to be perfect in his eyes."

Zytka sighed, "Thank you. Really. And since I gained your name, I'm Zytka."

"You're welcome. Glad to see a happy ending out of this. And damn that's pretty. Well, if you want real names, mine's actually Rose." she told her, "He's worth every penny. Although you might have to curb him on the smoking part."

She burst out in laughter, unknown of why but just let it out, "That will be the day. And yours is just as pretty."

Rose laughed with her, "True but that's one place I see him a lot. Getting his smokes and oils. Last I heard from one of the makers, he's even getting pills."

Pills? Zytka stared at her for a moment what she meant by that? "But with the war and Genesis, every man needs a small crutch to remove the pain and headache of it. How're his legs? Last he told me they were stiff, that is old war wounds were acting up."

She snapped out of her thoughts, "Oh, alright, a little stiff but not by much. He tell you why?"

"To the pain and usage? Yea, said he was captured in war and they broke his legs cause he was helping the enemy at that time. Took him a long time to heal, said another was just like him. Roderich I think was his name. God war is brutal."

Oh, she knew what she described, although she didn't realize the pianist she had seen at the one meeting was a survivor of war too. Well, in truth, they all were. And guessing Tim, he told her it was more recent of war, not the truth of WWII.

"Hey!" a shout came from the door as another woman stood there, "There's a car here for you. Says Timmy wants you home for something. Must be pretty special to get that treatment."

She felt a smile curve her face as she looked at Rose, "You haven't a clue."

 

It wasn't hard to figure out why he did what he did. The wind raged against the windows as the blinded the outside. She knew it was coming but this storm was worse than before. She hoped that he would be ok coming home as the winds wiped around once more.

"It's bad out there, isn't it Lop?" she said to the fuzzy creature as he pawed at her leg, "You still hungry?"

He bounced around twice more, making her laugh at him, "Alright, alright. Just don't let him know. I got a lecture the other day for making you fat."

Zooming around her legs, Zytka tried not to fall over him as she gathered her little treats for him. Yet as she worked, her mind ran with thoughts of what Rose said.

"He's getting his smokes and oils, even pills there."

That little bit rang louder than the rest. What would he need pills or oils for? She knew that his legs bothered him, explained how nations had to heal correctly or have issues later one. But with him being captive, it wasn't very possible. Yet it still bugged her to no end.

"Think he's hiding something from me?" she asked the rabbit as his back legs thumped the floor, "Ok, impatient as always. Oh poo, I gave you my bowl. Oh well."

She set down her partially used bowl to him, watching him nibble hungrily at it all. She had to stop thinking about it, just had to. The worry that plagued her mind from earlier and now the wonder of what Tim was up to with the drugs was getting to her. Sighing at the rabbit once more, she looked for another dish for herself just to be left a little disgruntled.

"Why must you place the dishes on the top shelf, Tim?" she said balancing herself to stand on the counter.

She was one to dream of tall men, yet this was more than she thought. Not that she complained about his tidiness and his actions in helping her clean the house, but placing things she needed so high was not on her agenda of the world. Finally finding the bowl in question, she readied herself to get down just to pause. Looking between the large pitcher she saw little bottles, ones that were too familiar to her. Grabbing the lot of them, she popped down from the spot and examined her find. They were exactly the same as the ones on the bathroom shelves. Quickly darting off for said bottles, she had to match them all, every little thing about them.

Having the cascade of pills before her, she looked at them all, wondering if it was her mind playing tricks, "He wouldn't do anything to hurt you Zytka, he just wouldn't."

She poured the contents of the hidden bottles, looking over the familiarity of them from past use. Nothing seemed out of order, just the same as usual, "Maybe he got extras before the storm and forgot to tell me." 

She tried to shake it from her head, yet something in her told her to dig deeper. Grabbing a knife, she pried open the capsules and cut the pills in half. The fine white powder she knew it would be. Then, she grabbed the other bottles, repeating the same to them, only this time, there was a change. Zytka stared down at the pills before, how did she not notice it before? There were her pills from that morning, a light green tint to them as the capsules were filled with an oil instead of the powder.

"It can't be." she whispered to herself, trying to reach for the phone on the counter.

She couldn't tear her eyes from it, no matter how hard she tried. Her heart clamped up as her stomach twisted into knots and her mind screamed at her the real truth she was looking at. Finally grabbing the piece and typing the numbers in, she prayed that the woman would tell her she was wrong.

"Hallo?" the line answered.

"Belle." she mumbled out.

"Zytka? Is that you? What's wrong, darling?"

Zytka swallowed over the lump in her throat, "Please. Please, Belle, I'm begging you, tell me I'm wrong."

"Wrong with what, you're starting to frighten me? Do I need to send Javier over or call Tim? I know the blizzard is there but knowing him he'll do what he can to get to you-"

"My medication."

"What?"

"My medications, for my epilepsy. Please, Belle, tell me that I'm looking at them wrong. That he's not hidden my real prescription from me and that he's replaced my others with...with..." she couldn't even finish.

Belle sighed, "I warned him. I told him to be honest and that if he wasn't karma would get him."

There it was. Zytka felt her legs wobble as Belle talked to her about his decision yet it meant nothing to her mind at that moment. How could he? Why would he do this to her, fake her medicines and have her take in that sinful plant? Why would he hurt her like so? She heard Belle faintly yelling at her on the phone as Lop bounced on her foot, yet she was far from it all. Her mind swirled in turmoil, worried that God would punish her for an action, not of her own knowledge. She could smell it in the air, lingering lightly as if it was always around her. All she wanted to do was run from it all, and that's what she did.

Zytka barely noticed the stinging cold wind as she ran from the home, terrified to look back as she tried to calm her mind. She didn't care how far she ran or where to, but the farther the better was all she could think. Tears poured from her eyes, blinding her to the surroundings, that was until she was flat on her face with snow covering her skin. Looking up, she realized the trouble she was now in. The woods were dark and daunting as the snow covered the ground and her way back to the house. She tried to hear for Heidi yet the wind covered everything with its harsh howl.

"Oh no." she whispered out. 

How could she have been so reckless? Trying to gather her surroundings, Zytka moved through the trees, seeing what she could gather as the storm raged on. Fear and worry began to fill her mind, a sickening dread sat in the pit of her stomach. There was no lights of the house nor the familiar neigh of Heidi, just the frozen landscape she trapped herself in. Her mind swirled, a tremor covering her body, not only from cold but the motions of her own issues.

"Dear God, please don't let that happen. Guide me home out of the storm and have me understand Tim's ways."

She tried running again, seeing if she could see it all if she just made it closer to the woods edge, yet all it did was make her situation worse. Panic settled in her as her anxiety spiked. She tried to calm herself, trying to silence the fear but as it continued she felt her vision shift and her body give another harsh shiver. No, not this. Her feet seemed to pause as her body began to grow stiff. How was this happening? She took...no, no she didn't. She was so focused to see what he was doing in De Wallen and understanding what she learned, she forgot to take them. The shakes got worse as she tried to find her balance yet it was too late. She felt the icy creek water cover her legs as the last thing she saw was the rock she was going to hit. Then, there was nothing.

 

Worry settled in his stomach, unsure of what do to or say. The snow seemed to become harsher as it rattled the windows with its ghostly howl, yet all he worried about was her.

Zytka had been acting strangely as of late, no real reason of why. Trying to silence his racing mind, he took another drag from his pipe, hoping the mix within would help him out more. Yet like usual, it did nothing but make him question more?

"What am I doing wrong?" he muttered to himself as the last of the papers stared at him.

He had tried to focus on finishing, to get back home to her but after calling her school and hearing from the assistant she had left right after, just sent him on a whirl of worry. She always called him when she got home, begged her to do it to be safe and that there was nothing bad happening to her while he was away. Not that there were many seizures but the threat of Genesis was getting bigger. And now, there were three more found and the Dane hadn't stopped messaging him about what he should do for his own capital.

His cell went off once more, making him press his temples in irritation as he went to answer it, "Look I told you multiple times, Mathias, you will have to-"

"I really don't need relationship advice from you." Belle's voice cut him off.

"Oh Belle, what do you need, and sorry about that."

"Heard about the three Nordics coming, but anyway, that's not why I'm calling."

"Then what?"

"You need to get home."

Dread filled every fiber of his being, "What do you mean? Why? What for?"

A heavy sigh came from the other line, "Remember that I told you karma would bite you in the ass with Zytka?"

"About her meds, yes I remember. What does-"

"She knows."

No. She couldn't have figured it out. There was no way that it was possible. He was careful and covered his tracks, how could she have learned unless someone told her.

"Belle, did-"

"No. As much as I wanted to, I didn't say a word. Nor did Javier. She called me in tears, begging me that it wasn't real. But I think she knew when she called me, just praying that it wasn't so. I had Claude make a few calls from her school office phone, come to find out she called your little house of fun, talked to Rose Jansen or Lady in the brothel. Seems like Zytka found out a lot in a little bit."

He felt small. The size of a grain of sand really. Dear God, Belle was right. He was going to have karma have him, and boy was she dry fucking his ass now. To hell with the papers and his government. He nearly ran out of the office, praying the roads weren't that bad for him to get there. Come hell or high water, he was getting to his capital.

"Belle, I'm sorry that I didn't do as you told me and listened with my ass, as you tell me. But right now, my capital needs me."

 

No more than a few minutes later, he saw his place. Warm and cozy as she always kept it when he wasn't around, the night's meal finishing up. Yet there was no sign of her.

"Zytka?" he called out, hoping that she was just mad at him, "Zytka, please."

The counter came to view as he saw the bottles and pills on the hard surface, her determination written in the destruction of them. His heart clamped up, he could almost hear her praying that it wasn't real. Could see her gripping her cross and saying every prayer she could to unsee what she did. And it was all his fault.

"Zytka!" he hollered out just to hear a harsh thump at the back door, "Zytka?" 

Making his way back, he found Lop throwing himself against the wooden piece, the little guy seemed exhausted yet positively determined to get out.

"What's gotten into you, Lop?" he asked, lifting him up.

Yet all Lop did was kick at him. Tim tried to hold onto him as he flailed around in his arms, just to suddenly drop him as the little bugger bit him.

"The hell was that for you little-"

Then he heard her. Heidi. She was nearly screaming in anger outside as he heard the fencing creak and squeak as she threw her legs at them. Dodging outside and making sure Lop didn't follow, he made his way to her. 

"Heidi, what's wrong?" 

The horse only ignored him as she let out another angry shout, raising her legs to kick the fence again.

"Heidi, knock it off!" he tried to calm her down, grabbing her harness, "What has gotten into you both?"

Opening the gate, she bolted past him, nearly dragging him away from the barn, "Heidi, stop! What is..."

Only then did he see the footprints in the ever-growing snow. Now he understood why they were acting the way they were, they were trying to get to her, to protect her while he was gone. Panic roared through his body as he mounted Heidi's back, gripping tightly to her mane.

"Find her Heidi!" he commanded with a kick of his feet to her side.

Heidi was off, flying into the woods as the snow made it almost impossible to see anything before them, yet she seemed to know more than he did. He felt like hell, so much screaming at him that he couldn't focus on anything else but finding her. God, how long was she out there? Wandering in the cold as the night crept in ever so slowly. He prayed, God did he pray to find her as he called out her name.

She bucked for a moment, attempting to jump over a log in their way. Her frustrated snorts and grunts echoing the area as he tried to see where she was heading.

He pulled on her mane lightly, "Come on Heidi, we can go around."

Yet Heidi wouldn't budge, "Come on old girl, we have to do so."

"Zytka?!" he hollered out again as Heidi stood her ground, "Heidi will you-"

One minute he was calling out for her just for the next to be flat on his back, in the snow as Heidi bucked off. Now he was pissed. Her stubbornness was getting to be too much for him as he watched her try and get over the log.

"Look here." he said taking her harness harshly in his hands, "You cannot make it over this log. It's too high for you. We need to go around."

She tried to pull away from him as the small trickle of water came to his ears, "We'll go around the large rock I know is here or across the creek as much as I don't want you going through but you need to-"

Heidi pushed her body against his, pinning him to the log as she let out another angry scream. Tim pushed back against her, panic and fury filling him every second that was wasted in finding Zytka.

"Alright. You have become a serious bitch at the moment. Whatever is up your ass better leave or so help me, Heidi, you will..."

He looked over his shoulder, finally understanding what Heidi was trying to do, or more of the fact, show him. He could see the outline of a body, covered in snow as the other half laid in the icy creek before them. She found her.

"Zytka!" he finally got free of Heidi, going under the log to her, "Zytka!"

Finally, beside her, he lifted her frozen body to him, praying he would find a pulse or even a breath, yet there was nothing.

"No, God no." he mumbled, lifting her up and making his way to Heidi as she kneeled down for him to get on.

With a kick to her side, they were off. Racing through the harsh snow and deafening winds, Heidi's heavy footfalls was all he could hear as he tried to not only hold onto Zytka but find a lingering hope of life within her. He was cursing himself. Damning it all to hell as his decision ran through his head. The fact she found them and now she was lifeless in his arms after running away from the motion he made. It just killed him. 

Finally, the lights of the house came to sight. A small relief filling him as Heidi practically ran right up to the door for him as he sawLop jumping by the window, nearly coming out of his own furs. Giving Heidi a small pat, Tim flew into the house, hoping he could bring her back to him. Once within the sitting area, he laid her on the floor, wrapping as many blankets as he could find as Lop laid against her head and shoulder. He had to bring her back, just had to. He couldn't even fathom the thought of her not being there with him. Listening to her pray or sing a small hymn, watching her with Heidi and Lop or even the children at the school, hell even interacting with the other capitals and cities and nations. She was just too bright and beautiful to lose.

"Come on Zytka, please." he pleaded as the fireplace gave off the heat he wanted, "Come back to me."

Silence. Never would he had thought he'd hate the silence but now it was damning. Her skin was pale as her lips were a tinted purplish-blue, the small bruising on her head was his sign that she fell and knocked herself out. 

"God, het spijt me Zytka."

And that, he was truly sorry. He didn't want to hurt her or make things worse in any way for her yet that's all he ended up doing. Kneeling beside her, he pulled her to his chest, holding her as tight as he could. With a shaky breath, he placed his lips to her ear, hoping she heard it along with God himself and prayed. 

He heard her before whispering the little prayer, every time an attack came on the TV or more, she would let out those little words that meant almost little to him, yet now it was everything as he reached the end, "Unite us together again in one family, to sing Your praise forever and ever. Amen."

Lop gently laid on her stomach as Tim began to rock her, still quietly praying that it was just his imagination playing a horrid joke on him. Yet the stillness of her chest and the frozen touch of her body gave him his answer.

"Alsjeblieft, Zytka, kom alsjeblieft terug naar mij. Verlaat me niet, smeek ik je. Alsjeblieft, verlaat me niet." he pleaded to her. "God Zytka, please come back. I can't be without you. I love you too much to lose you."

A sudden gasp came to him as her body began to shiver followed by a harsh cough from her. She was back. She was back and breathing and not only alive but Amsterdam as well. Relief flooded him as he smoothed his hand over her hair, finally seeing her brown eyes looking around.

"Zytka. Zytka, it's ok. You're home now, warm and safe." he spoke softly to her. 

She shook her head at him, tears filling them as she tried to push him away, "Zytka it's ok, it's me Tim."

"Nee." she rasped out.

"It's Tim, Zytka. It's Timothy, I swear. You're fine-"

"Nee, waarom?" she got out again as the tears fell.

"Why what, Zytka, what's-"

"Why did you lie to me?" she cried, "Why did you do that to me?"

A cold, menacing hit came to his gut as he watched her break in front of him. The hurt that lied in those chocolate eyes killed him, and he wasn't sure what to say to make it any better for her.

"Zytka, I'm...I'm sorry. I just...just...I just." he stumbled out, "I just...I wanted...wanted you."

He looked back at her, so many things written on her face yet none of them a good sign for him and what she was feeling for him. He finally let out a long sigh.

"I just, I didn't want to see you hurt anymore. Ok? I'm sorry. I really am. I should've told you what I was doing but I know how you view as well. But God, Zytka, after the oil there was a difference. The episodes slowed and you weren't forgetting or being scared as before. On those pills you were almost a zombie at times, the side effects it had just made you so out of it that it was hard to see you like that. But the moment you had those, you were awake and happy and vibrant and dammit I didn't want to lose that side of you due to those pills they forced you to take. I couldn't watch you have episode after episode and crying out in pain or fear due to them. It was killing me, so I did what I thought was right. I couldn't stand to see you hurt anymore. I just..."

He trailed off, feeling his own emotions he hid away slowly coming forth as his breath hitched in his throat, "I just couldn't watch you suffer anymore Zytka. I love you too much to watch it anymore. I'm sorry I hurt you, I just couldn't watch it anymore."

His body shook lightly as he looked at his hands on his knees, afraid to look at her, to see the hurt and disappointment in her eyes as his own burned in hurt and worry, "I'm sorry Zytka, I didn't mean to hurt you or break your trust in me. I just wanted you better. Please, forgive me."

Before he realized, slender arms wrapped around his neck as her body leaned against his own, shivering slightly. There was no stopping his own from wrapping around her as he buried his face into her shoulder. God, she felt perfect against him, her gentle breath tickling his neck, that sweet vanilla scent lifting from her skin just gave him the proof that it was all real.

"I see now." she whispered to him, "But please, don't lie to me again."

"I won't, I promise."

"I mean for everything too." she said pulling away from him, "If it wasn't the fact that Rose at De Wallen and a few others called here and then her telling me how you were getting pills and oils I wouldn't have thought any different."

"Rose?"

"Oh, you may have known her as Lady."

Oh, now he knew, "You went to De Wallen?"

She shied away from him, "Yes. I was struck with the thought that you were sleeping with other women because I wouldn't change-"

"Nee!" he almost shouted, "No, God, Zytka please don't change for me. I changed. Not because you wanted me to but because I chose to. I left that world behind for you. You mean so much to me and-"

Her lips molded against his, silencing his explanation to her. Yet he didn't argue. Breaking apart, she curled against him, feeling Lop jump into their laps. 

"Its alright Tim, I know why now." she sighed, "But let's focus on now and what lies ahead. Plus, I'm cold and you're really warm."

He couldn't stop the chuckle that emitted from him. She was right. There was no real reason to focus on the past or explain why it happened. From that point on, they had all the time in the world with one another to nitpick and love each other. And he was just happy with that.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a sexually themed chapter

The wind howled around the house once more. She felt Lop settle himself against her pillow. Let it be known that Tim had the laziest rabbit of all time, despite how cute he was. Zytka tried to quiet her mind, to let it calm down so she could finally sleep, but the more it raged outside, the louder her thoughts became. There was just so much there, and of course learning of what Father Dominik had told her, it just wouldn't let her alone.

The sudden bang of shutters and the icy snow mix pelted the window with a godlike force that even the heaviest of sleepers would awake from its torrent. Well, all except Tim. She wasn't sure if it was the latest Genesis sighting in Denmark or the fact that a crazed man came into the church the other morning and ranted and rated that God hated everyone and that death was inevitable. She could still feel the children pushing against her in fear as the man continued until the men took him outside finally. She just had to get rid of that feeling.

Quickly getting out of bed and wrapping the special throw Tim bought from his last trip, she made her way down to his room. Praying that she wouldn't disturb him. The foundation creaked slightly as the door joined its ruckus and there, dead to the world, was Tim. Fast asleep with one arm draped over his face as the other laid peacefully on his chest. Quietly as possible, she managed her way to his bed, carefully sliding into place next to him.

Zytka felt like a child, afraid of a silly storm and a bad nightmare after watching a movie her parents warned her not to see, yet now paid the price. It was childish, but she just needed to know he was there. The heat that poured off of him was proof he was alive, along with the quiet snore that left his partially opened mouth.

She couldn't stop watching him, he was totally at peace.No worry of war or her protection, or even of her epilepsy. Just pure peace. Yet as she looked at him, she wondered why. Why did he really do that? And with it, why have Father Dominik do so? There were so many things that claimed her mind, along with thoughts of other things as his bare chest rose and fell with each breath.

"You gonna keep staring at me?"

Zytka jumped, nearly falling off the bed until his arms wrapped around her middle. Dear Lord, he frightened her. Her heart thumped radically against her chest as she tried to catch her breath, her sight finally landing on Tim as he lazily looked up at her.

"Sorry about that. Could feel you staring at me." he stated, pulling her towards him, "Why are you in here anyway?"

"Sorry, I'll go back to my-"

"I didn't say that." his hands cupped her face, "Are you alright, Zytka? Something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong, just..." she trailed off, unsure of how to speak.

"Just what? Did I do something to bother you?"

Zytka sighed, ever since she changed into Amsterdam, he had practically walked on eggshells to protect her and not upset her and in truth, it was getting annoying.

"No Tim, it's not that."

"Well, then what?"

"Well, I just...I don't know...how to say...well...I mean..." she stammered out, finally gaining her breath and her nerve to speak, "Is it true?"

"Is what true?" his face filled with worry.

"That you went to Father Dominik and had him come to Amsterdam to baptize you. If it is, why?"

Silence befell the room, she watched as his eyes seemed to look around and figure out what to say just for him to lay back against the mattress, one hand resting against his forehead, "For you."

"For me?"

"Ja, for you." he sat up again, his arms resting on his knees, "I wanted to understand you more. Not just in your issues or what you are like around me, but everything. Including religion. That piece makes you as well. I tried to understand it looking from the outside in but I just couldn't get it right. So I spoke with Father Dominik about you and the more I did, the more it just felt right for me to do for you."

Zytka was shocked, he did it all for her. Every little thing, every action was for her and to help understand her or make her feel better about things. The more she realized it, the more she realized Kinga was right about what a real man was like.

"So you became a Catholic for me."

"It kinda was my last thing."

She giggled at him, how on earth was she this lucky? She felt his green hazels land on her, knowing there was a smile that was joining hers as well. Finally looking at him, she could see him fighting with himself, the battle behind his eyes raged hard and heavy as his fingers seemed to twitch in want. She watched him, every move he made was what Kinga had spoken to her about before, and with it, her own want and curiosity.

"So, with me being a capital now and immortal, what would that make us?"

"What do you mean?"

Her fingers twisted with one another, nervousness settling into her belly as she tried to find the right words for it all, "Well, I uh...I'm not sure but, are we um...are we-"

His finger pressed to her running mouth, making heat rush around her, "Are you asking if we are tied together?"

Well, that was a way to put it, "Yes, even though there was no action before God?"

Tim gave a soft smile, inching closer to her, "As nations and being immortal, the moment you became Amsterdam you were tied to me."

"So, we are technically married then?"

"Pretty much." he shrugged, "Why the questions?"

Could she really say what she wanted? There was so much she knew so little of and yet she wanted to explore it all with him. She tried to find the courage to speak her mind, but all that came out was a fumble of words as her fingers fiddled together. It wasn't really hard to push what she desired forward but with him, it was like asking the Pope to cleanse the whole world of sin and evil. Such a feat that even he couldn't do. 

Tim's hand gently laid on her shoulder as she paused in her attempt, "Zytka, what are you trying to really ask?"

"Well, with us being technically married, um, shouldn't we, um, consummate?" she finally got out.

His eyes widened at her as his jaw joined in on the shock she just delivered. She even shocked herself with it and what she was really asking for. Not the fact she asked for consummation but the pure idea she wanted to be made a real woman by him and only him. To share it with him and dear lord as sinful as it sounded, she wanted to experience the mind-blowing world her sister spoke of. Yet there was no movement or words shared, just awe of the question asked.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said such a thing." the outright fear rolled in her body as she tried to move from the bed.

Yet she found herself still as his hands grasped onto her, gentle yet firm. She couldn't look at him, too terrified to even try. 

"Hey," she heard him whisper, "Look at me, Zytka."

She shook her head at him, hearing him give his usual sigh, "Why not?"

"I'm embarrassed. I asked a sinful thing."

"Zytka." he whined, "It's not sinful. Being unwed and having many partners, that's sinful. But you, you did not sin. So, stop it."

He pulled her toward him, feeling the heat radiate off of him as she was almost pressed into his chest. Gaining the courage to look at him, she saw within his green hazels calm and comfort, no judgment or resentment just him and what he felt for her.

"I'm not going to force myself upon you or make you chose between it. It's all on you."

"You made that daunting."

"Why do you say that?"

"All desire and more is resting upon me, what about your wants?"

"Zytka." he pressed a kiss to her head, "Whenever you are ready, I'll be ready."

She wasn't sure what to do anymore, she wanted to continue forward yet was terrified of doing so. A quiet chuckle left him as he laid her down next to him, one arm secured around her shoulders as the other stroked her hair, "Why don't you sleep on it and we'll discuss it another time."

He was serious. Zytka always presumed that men acted upon their own desires and that a woman was to fulfill them without a second thought no matter how she felt. Well, that's what her mother said. Resting her head against his chest, she let the steady thrum of his heart lull her thoughts as his breath grew slow with sleep. Yet she didn't want sleep, she wanted more. Raising her head, she looked down at him, studying his features as he cracked an eye open.

"What happened to sleep?" he asked.

Zytka couldn't stop herself as she placed a kiss to his lips, "Maybe I don't want to."

He looked at her in curiosity just as her fingers raked through his hair, "Maybe I want what I haven't given away."

"Zytka, you realize what you are saying yes?"

She nodded at him, "If I wasn't, would I still be here about it?"

The small smile that claimed him calmed her heart slightly, "Little minx. But are you sure?"

She let the question and thoughts sink in, everything before her as his hand gently traced her arm just to kiss him once more, "Very."

Before she knew it, he had pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss. Love and desire building within as his tongue traced her bottom lip, her arms caught her as she moved to be above him, pressing her chest into his gaining a subtle moan from beneath her.

"Either you read something or spoke with someone." he said between the kiss, "So which is it?"

Courage caught up to her as she straddled his hips, feeling his heated arousal below her. She let her hands traced his chest, feeling every definition that was really him, "I spoke with a few."

In a swift motion, his shirt was gone, tossed in the room, "Getting hot in here. So who may I ask?" he nearly demanded as his arms wrapped around her with another claimed kiss.

He was right about that, it was getting warmer, or maybe it was her, "Brie, Riko, Kinga, and your sister."

"Belle?" he almost shouted.

"Yes." Zytka giggled, "I called her the other day and she gave me some nice notes. And I also called Rose as well since you used to go to her the most in the brothels."

The look on his face was one of unsure and wonder, "Then maybe you did you your homework- OH!"

Zytka silenced him as she took Rose's points and ground her hips into his own, dragging her nails down his chest as well. His reaction was all the courage she needed to keep this going, no doubt in her mind that she was doing bad or hurting him. His fingers gripped the bedsheet with a knuckle-breaking force as she repeated the moment again.

"I must've, you seem to really like this." she whispered to him, placing a small kiss to his Adam's apple.

Suddenly, she found herself on her back as his body pressed into hers. Zytka stared up at him in shock, amazed how fast he moved and how determined he looked. His lips crashed into hers in a hot and needy kiss, his fingers tangled themselves in her hair while his body aligned perfectly with hers. It felt amazing. Whole really, like it was meant to happen this way as she wrapped her arms around his neck. The low groan that rumbled from his chest sent a strange warm waved from her head to her toes, making her do the same as he continued to kiss her. Leaving her tousled hair, his hands skimmed down her body, touching every point of her, leaving hot little flames under her skin. This was heavenly.

"Think there's a little much on you." his voice was dark and husky with need as his fingers curled around the bottom of her shirt.

A cool chill sat in her stomach, making her wonder if this was alright. With a quick motion, her shirt was gone, toss aside with his own as her arms flew up to cover herself.

"Zytka, are you sure you want this?" he asked, pausing above her.

"Yes." she gave out weakly.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, shatje. It's just me."

Mustering up what courage she could, she moved her hands to rest by her head just to feel his gaze upon her half-naked body. There was something about his look, not like others she had seen on the street when they desired nothing but flesh but more. It was almost the same look Kacper had for Kinga. One that looked at her as a woman, not as a toy of their pleasure.

"Good?" she questioned.

"You have no idea how beautiful you really are to me."

Heat blossomed on her cheeks at his words, along with it spreading over her body, "Then show me."

He silenced any racing thoughts with a passionate kiss, deep and filling just for those soft lips to travel down her neck, placing little butterfly kisses against the sensitive skin, making her lose her breath. Zytka tried to keep herself grounded, focused on her surroundings yet the farther he went down, the harder it became. Especially when his hands found her breasts. She couldn't stop the moan that left her throat nor her body arching into him either. It was as if it had a mind of its own. Tender kisses danced around the plump mounds, making her question her sanity until his teeth latched onto a pert bud, making her squirm in delight. Licks and nips came to her, both of them being treated with equal care just as his mouth crept slowly down her belly. She stiffened slightly unsure of what he was doing. Sitting up, he kissed the inner-side of her knee, trailing a hot line of fire down to her core, switching to repeat the same to the other. Only then did she feel his fingers curl in the band of her panties, gently tugging them from her body. 

She tried to say something, yet couldn't find the words when he pulled the piece away from her body and off into the dark. She was bare. Naked before him. And her mind screamed at her to run while her heart demanded her to stay. He pushed her legs apart, placing gentle kisses to her hip bone as he moved lower and finally she found her voice.

"Tim, wait!"

"What's wrong?" he asked, eyes filled with worry.

"What are you doing? It's, well, dirty there."

A soft chuckle left him, "It may seem that way but it's not really. Besides, I have to get you ready for me and this is the next best thing."

She wanted to reason with him but the sensation of his knuckles brushing her folds and over the sensitive nub was lost to the world. She twitched in excitement and shock, how such a small thing could control her body like so. Well, that was until his tongue lapped up her core, circling around her just to stop and tease the bundle of nerves. Zytka's head pressed into the pillow as her fingers curled into the sheets, her breath lost in her throat as she felt his finger press into her core, diving deeper within her as his tongue teased. Ok, maybe she was wrong with what she said. She never thought something like that would feel so good. Another lithe finger found itself within her as it curled and scissored in time with his play. A deep heat within her grew one that seemed only he could put out.

Suddenly it was cold, her body shivering from the strange sensation that boiled in her belly, just to feel him above her as something else was placed at her core. Eyes shooting open, Zytka looked down her body to see Tim ready himself with her. And a small fear claimed her.

"Hey, look at me."

Doing as told, she looked up at him, seeing his calm eyes smile down at her, "It's alright I promise."

"Are you sure?" she asked, "And how did you take your pants off without me knowing."

He chuckled at her, "You were lost in something else when I did. And yes, I'm totally sure. Here."

His hands guided her arms to wrap around his neck as he raised her legs to rest on his hips, "Keep like this if you can, it'll make it a little easier."

Nodding her head, she pulled him to her to gain another kiss from him, for it seemed to be the only thing that quelled her screaming mind. He gave no haste as he kissed her back, hands curling into her shoulders as if holding her in place. Then pain filled her body as he pressed his hips against hers. That was not what she thought would happen as the ache grew more intense with him within her. She wasn't sure if she wanted to push him away or hang onto him for dear life. Yet it was made for her as his own grip tightened on her, a low groan rumbled from within him. No movement was made from him, just his deep kiss and fingers dancing on her shoulders. 

Finally, he broke away, causing her to gasp out the pain that riled within her, tears falling as she tried to catch her breath. 

"I'm sorry Zytka, I really am. But it'll go away in a moment, just relax." he whispered to her, his lips finding her neck.

She pulled him closer as she tried to will the hurt away. This was her decision, after all, so she needed to pay the price of it. But before long, the pain subsided and the ache to a strange discomfort mixed with a primal need.

Rocking her hips against his own, she heard him bite back a low rumble from within him, green hazels glanced down at her, "That was very mean."

"Are you arguing with me?"

"You ok for me to continue?"

She nodded slightly, wondering what would come forth now. Slowly, she felt him leave her body, every little detail of him she could feel as it seemed her body demanded him back, just to feel him slide back in. The slow, steady rhythm he gave silenced her thoughts as she fell into the feeling of him. The gentle push and pull of his body was odd yet perfect as she held onto him, gaining small kisses over her face as he whispered sweet Dutch to her. And with it, the fire grew once more.

"More." she whispered against his hear.

"You sure?"

Zytka unraveled her arms from his neck, pulling his face to her own. Placing a deep, serious kiss to his soft lips was all she needed to say to him, he knew that she was determined and that was her way of proving it. Then his arms caged her to the bed, pressing her own into herself and him. With a dip of his hips, he gained a new angle and began a new pace for her. One that was leaving her nearly breathless and calling out his name. Her hands wrapped around his arms as she tried to find even ground yet there was nothing but them. No world or war outside or even her epilepsy, just them and the love they were creating.

He thrusted into her deeper, harder, and faster. Sending her on a whirl of pleasure she never knew was real. The boiling heat within her lower belly grew more and more as he pumped into her, gaining a new tightness as well. She could hear him panting above her, even over her own pants and moans, yet with it, the heat grew more intense.

"Tim?" she tried to voice out, "Timothy."

He hummed in reply as his nose nuzzled her neck again, "It's getting hot and tight, what-"

She was silenced by his lips once again, and with it, the tight heat grew out of control, just for him to mumble against her mouth, "Let it happen."

"But Tim-"

"Trust me Zytka, let it happen." he went faster and harder into her.

She felt the white-hot heat begin to spill over as her mind seemed to float away with her body. The tightness finally snapped within her, spilling a wave of pleasure and bliss through her. Her legs wrapped tightly against his waist as her hand dug into his shoulders, just for her head to slam into the pillow.

"My God!" she gasped out loud, feeling the waves just claimed her over and over again as Tim stilled above her, twitching within her.

Dear lord, what was that? She felt herself shake as she slowly came to, her body sensitive to everything and how well it felt to have him surround her. A sweet kiss came to her nose as she looked up at him. Pleasure and relaxation covered his features as he smiled down at her.

"Liked it then?"

She smiled back, "I am laying here, no?"

"Smartass."

"Yours."

"That's true."

"So what was-"

"Your release." he interrupted, "An orgasm to be precise."

Oh, now it made sense of everything. Kinga had tried to explain of the sensation of pleasure but feeling it was totally different than word of mouth. She relaxed into the mattress, feeling the need of sleep come to her just for her to realize something.

"Tim, what day is it?"

"What, what does that have to do-"

"Plenty, so please tell me so I may plan actions out better since I know you relieved yourself within me."

Tim sighed at her, "Zytka, it's alright."

"What do you-"

"I know what I was doing and as much of not being the greatest towards kids, I think our own would leave a different mark on me."

He wasn't serious was he, "Wait, are you saying-"

"I'm willing for a baby yes. But it'll be only one for it will be a boy, end of story."

Now she laughed at him, "How sure are you of that?"

"Very." he stated, moving from her, gathering her in his arms and holding her close, "I'm willing to bet on it."

"You know God has a sense of humor to those that are a little arrogant?"

"You know you called out His name in vain when you came?"

"I did not!"

He kissed her quickly, "Did so. But yes, I'm willing for a baby with you."

Dear Lord, how embarrassing to take his name in such a dirty act but she couldn't help but smile at Tim, "So if it's a girl, what then?

"Then it'll be one, then a boy, but no more than two."

"Ok, ok. You win." she stifled a yawn, "I'm now officially tired."

"You should be. Get some rest, Amsterdam. Ik hou van je."

There, right there, she knew he was serious the most her. How he was planning a life and what to do with her and the future that was before them, and with it, she was ready to take it all on, no matter what came before them, "Ik hou ook van je."


	12. Chapter 12

Sleep. That's all he really wanted. Nothing more and nothing less. But as usual, it was avoiding him. The calm of the house gave way to the gentle morning, proof that things were still good for the day. Not that he didn't think it could go disastrous in a matter of seconds, but he wanted to enjoy the quiet as long as possible.

Opening his eyes, he saw the fresh snow gently floating down outside the window, adding to the peace and quiet. Well, that was until he felt the blankets rustle around his legs and little hands creeping up the bed. He really couldn't complain of this intrusion really, knowing exactly what was coming. Lifting the blankets up, he was met with wide brown eyes as messy dark locks covered her small head. The same bright smile of her mothers gleamed at him as she scooted even closer to him.

Tim pressed his finger to his lips, hoping Anna Maria would take his notion as he whispered to her, "Come here."

Inching the rest of the way, the little tot laid her head against him, her fingers curling into his shirt as she hummed, "Goedemorgen papa."

"Goedemorgen, Anna Maria. Why are you up so early?"

"Happy papa," she explained, "Sinterklaas comes soon."

He smiled down at his little girl, the pure excitement that laid behind those innocent eyes said it all to him, "Is he now, were you good this year?"

"Ja, I did chores and helped mama with Levi!"

Tim chuckled at her as he shushed her, "Ok, ok, not so loud. Mama and Levi are still sleeping."

Peering over him, she gave a warm smile as her hand reached out beside him. Turning to see her target, he was met with his sleeping wife and son, both resting peacefully in the large bed. Anna Maria's hand caressed his dark blond tresses, making him stir in his sleep. Quickly lifting her up, he had an idea for her.

"Anna Maria?"

"Ja?"

"Why don't we make mama breakfast in bed? Treat her to something special before Sinterklaas comes tonight since she does so much for us?"

The excited smile was his reply as she hurried off the bed and out of their room. Carefully, Tim moved from the comfort of the bed, gathering Levi in his arms as the little boy waved his arms around in frustration, "Alright, alright. She didn't mean to wake you, come on bud. Let's get you changed and fed before mama wakes."

Quietly leaving and closing the door, he made his way to the nursery, hoping that he wouldn't fuss so much for him. As much as he said about children, he really couldn't complain. True the other nations picked on him here and there for his last words but he wouldn't trade his family for anything.

Green hazels looked back at him as he finished changing Levi, "Goedemorgen buddy. How are you?"

Levi smiled at him, moving his body around in glee at him, "That happy huh?"

It had taken some trial and errors, but he finally got his boy. Thank God. The moment he was before him and hearing Zytka giggle was just burned in his head. His sly little wife knew the entire time that she was carrying a boy, but refused to tell him. He had to be a sight when he saw him, the excited shout that left him was all he went by to know.

Little feet ran up to him, an upset whine left Anna Maria as she hugged his legs, heavy tears falling from her eyes.

"Anna Maria, what's wrong darling?" he lifted Levi to his chest as he scooped her up in his arms.

"They won't let me." she sobbed out. "They hit me."

Oh, now he knew. Making his way to the kitchen where the rustle of plates and more came to him, he found the source as the three eldest were arguing.

"Anika! Hannie! Kyla!" he shouted yet it fell upon deaf ears, "Meisjes!"

Finally, the three girls looked over at him, shock and worry upon them as they stopped fighting over the table.

"What are you three doing?"

"I told them they needed to listen to me papa, they wouldn't." the eldest stated.

"Nee!" Hannie and Kyla yelled, "You were bossing us around."

"Alright, you three are fighting like normal. So who hit Anna Maria?"

Silence befell the table, the three of them looking at one another as he waited for their reply.

"She did that herself." they proclaimed.

"Sure she did." he glared at them, "You three have barely eight hours to clean up your acts or Sinterklaas will forget you and I'll call Ludwig and Gilbert to send Krampus here."

That did it, they all shook their heads at him, realizing how serious he was, "Good, now start by doing your chores I know you didn't do. Go on!"

In a flash, Anika, Hannie, and Kyla were gone. Moving about the house as he tried to press responsibility in them. Letting down Anna Maria, he hoped they wouldn't start up again.

"Here papa." Anna Maria called out.

He found her pulling Levi's chair to him as she placed one of his bottles in it. Well, at least one of his daughters was well behaved. Settling Levi in his seat with bottle and all, he and Anna Maria set out on their little plan. From small fruits to pastries with jams, the two of them bustled around making the large breakfast. He knew better than to make enough for just Zytka, she would share her food with the children until all were full, but that's what made her beautiful to him.

"Think it looks good?" he asked the tot.

"Ja papa, mama like it." she replied as she grabbed the fruit bowl.

"Alright then, easy there, don't want to spill." he said to her as he grabbed the rest and Levi.

Once upstairs, she quietly went into the room, placing the bowl by the bed just to jump atop of the mattress and Zytka.

"So much for that." he muttered to himself.

"Goedemorgen to you all." Zytka sleepily said as Anna Maria hugged her.

Brown met hazel as Zytka smiled at him, "Seems you were busy this morning."

"I tried to let you sleep in."

She chuckled at him, "We have children, there is no such thing as sleeping in. What do you have anyway?"

"Ontbijt!" Anna Maria exclaimed.

"That." he smiled at her as he placed the rest of it down on the nightstand.

"Oh, you two. You are too good to me." she smiled at the meal just for her head to shoot up, "Where are the girls?"

"Doing chores after fighting like usual."

As he finished with Levi, he listened to Anna Maria tell Zytka everything she could think of and what she should teach at the school next. Jumping to God, then to Sinterklaas, to even the nations and cities, she was off talking her ear off. Yet Zytka paid no mind as she followed along with her as they ate. It wasn't long when other heads popped in and Zytka ushered them in to eat like he knew she would. Then it was really just him and Levi as the females of the house zoned him out with him.

"And this is why papa wanted a boy." he smiled down at his son, "You and me time and no boring talk with girls."

Levi excitedly flapped his arms around as he cooed at him here and there. Yet it didn't take him long to even get bored with him and try to see what his sisters were up to, "Papa got boring already huh?"

"He's little Tim, give him time and the two of you can do all sorts of things together."

"I know." he kissed her head as Levi let out a frustrated whine towards her, "Now you want mama. Traitor."

Zytka giggled as she took Levi from him, "Sometimes all children need is mama. And don't act like your girls don't want you."

"Oh, I know they do. It's why Anna Maria is attached to my leg. Hannie follows me in the woods most of the time while Kyla is in the garden, telling me where each flower should go and-"

"And I am with you for the government, right papa?" Anika finished for him.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he placed a kiss to her light brown hair, "That you are. You are the firstborn after all."

"Told you two that the oldest gets the better stuff."

"You're older than me by ten months, and a little over a year older than Kyla." Hannie pointed out.

"Still the oldest."

"Alright." he pulled Anika closer, "Don't make me call the Germans."

The three of them stiffened as Anna Maria looked at them in curiosity, "Who is Krampus papa?"

"An evil animal like man that whips little children."

"Anika!" both he and Zytka yelled.

"It's true."

"But you left out that it's only the bad kids that he gets." Kyla added.

"Oh, so Sinterklaas will come for Levi and me while Krampus gets yous." Anna Maria shot at them.

He couldn't stop the laugh, no matter how hard he tried. He wanted to praise her for her smart wit but Zytka was giving them a stern lecture of kindness and positivity. Once the girls calmed down, he moved to settle beside Zytka, tickling Levi's feet here and there.

"You still think it's too much?" she asked him, "Even after the war ending and all?"

"Part of me still thinks we should've stopped at Hannie, but I'm not complaining. I love my family."

"Admit it, you just kept going to get him." she smirked at him.

"Maybe."

She giggled at him as four sets of arms wrapped around his neck just for one to shout, "Now we got you papa!"

"Sure about that?" he said to them, just to wrap his arm around the four of them.

He tackled them to the bed, kissing and blowing raspberries to exposed bellies, hearing their happy laughter fill the room. It was this he lived for, even after gaining his capital and the war with Genesis being over, it was his family he lived for the most. And not a day went by that he didn't thank God for giving him them.

 

Fin


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